Its all part of the time travel themed week. Which I will be using for my next blog called Blast from the Past.....stay tuned for an exclusive interview with an ex housemate!
BB has been a revolving door of late, in one house, then back again. You are now only a halfway housemate, and then you are a fully-fledged housemate. It has been hard to keep track of the housemates. I think they should have been issued electronic tagging systems, so we could know where they are located at any given time.I mean, it is like a prison isn’t it. I feel as a BB watcher I have been given a 3-month sentence. I was hoping to be let off for good behaviour, but my parole was denied.
Shanessie Loch monster and David the Pagan got the boot tonight, and Tracey is back in her “sketchy phat stack, aving it graveeyyyyy” which means, when I consult my Ravers that are over 37 dictionary, “Oh I’m glad to be back in my temporary abode”.
Shanessie Loch Monster looked stunned when she found out she was evicted. Now I have to ask you my Diva Delectables, Why?
Her first words in the house “Do you like girls that swallow?” were plagiarised from the film Creature from the blue lagoon, the sex tapes.
She then proceeds to unleash her rather odd breasts, which reminded me of those baguettes you get from Tesco Express.
David, the Pagan, bemoaned that witches always get evicted! Yes, the Salem Witch trials went pretty much the same way David. The crowd voted via abacus, and when they found the witch they wanted to evict, they all got together with placards and booed! The evicted witches then went to a cosy studio and were “interviewed” by John Hathorne (google anon)
Mr X rushed back from the Reading Pagan Festival, after Madame Du Pravee told him that David would be evicted. She had been interrupted during a speech to the WI, by a channelling from Aleister Crowley, he inferred that David was sporting a rather large todger under that kilt, and he was predominantly straight. Mr Crowley also said the vote lines would rumble with his name, and he would be gone on Friday.
Mr X seemed quite relieved to be called back to Elstree; he had caught the eye of a white witch called Cilla who wanted tantric sex with him. He says he cannot have sex at present because it upsets his ferrets.
Therefore, we are back to one house and two new Muppets. Jonty and Kara-Louise Rice-Bush. Jonty, who seems to have a bowel complaint, only farts and laughs. Kara-Louise looks like she is straight out of the TV show of the late 70’s The Mallens
All is then back to normal at fraggle rock. Carole I feel, has become a little bit strange. I think that she really wants Ziggy to have a rummage in her rather large gusset. Those huge knickers also double as a handy hammock, and if desperately needed, a four man tent with awning. Carole wants to bag her man. They could have a future together. Carole could protest about the mistreatment on 90’s boy band members and burn her bra outside 10 Downing Street. Ziggy could have the sort of love he craves, that of a woman who will pander to his every need and iron his underpants with starch.
Shakespeare decided to come directly through to me via automatic writing, which is slightly awkward, as I was writing a cheque in the bank at the time.
He had this to say about Ziggy "To thine own self be true; and it must follow, as the night the day, thou can'st not then be false to any man"
BBBL
