Big Brother's Big Lesbian: Big Brother's Big Bore!

Here we are again. A week into the BB social experiment, and I am finding my I.Q distressingly disabled.

I was agog ( Google anon) at the task, that involved licking crisps. I mean we've all been at the crisp licking stage in our lives. I recall a crisp licking moment in 1989 that involved a woman called Shirley and a four pack of strongbow cider..Its best left unsaid, as so many things are in my life.

So BB fans ( if there are any out there still) the same old homogenized types are in the house. The obligatory big mouth, the IT girl, the poor man's Rambo, and the others that are all too non-descript to warrant any discussion at all.

I will be refraining from using their names until someone steps up the the plate and says anything remotely witty or intelligent.

And where, oh where, are the lesbians this year? Why is the house always so devoid of A) Lesbians. B) Eye Candy. C) Anyone with anything interesting to say at all. I despair at the level of morose,moronic Muppet's in the house this year.

I was hoping, in my dotage, that BB would finally put in someone that would know what the word onomatopoeia means. I do like the man that is restricted of sight....must be a bonus for him, not being able to see in there!!

On a positive note, and I'm digging into the depth's of my soul here. I have been channelling the bard himself, that's Mr Shakespeare to all you non-thespians. The Bard assures me that the summer will start to liven up, and "thy hand will drip with the words of the excited fool".

He explained that BB is just a modern day version of a midsummer nights dream, and that wily puck will bring it all together. I did try to resist his obvious madness of being trapped in the ethereal layer for too many years, but he was highly insistent that this will be the Summer of our content.

I'm sure there will be times of great inspiration in the coming weeks. Crisp licking is just a taster of the fevered possibilities for us, the mere meek viewer. What next I ask the bard? Tortilla licking? Satsuma orifice plunging? Vimto Henna tattoos?

All will be revealed I'm sure in the coming weeks. I will leave you with an inspirational prediction from the Bard, for the weary of heart over BB.

" Thine eyes will be witness to a tempest rage, upon the ground of Elstree. Five men will seek the title, yet one women will seize the prize. The other, the pestilent goat ninny, will be evicted with thunderous roars, from the furious mob"

Cliff notes to this means: Its all going to kick off, the blokes will be smarmy and try to win, but a women will win this year, and some prat will be evicted to the biggest booing session in BB history. Hmmmmmm, anyone smelling a deja vu here?

Ta Ta for now....next blog a riveting interview with Nigella Lawson, who gets her kit off whilst making an incredible lamb kofta dish.

BBBL

Miss Gay UK: Interview with Sian McClelland.

Phew, here we go again. All these women not enough time. Sian McClelland 24, Miss Gay East Anglia, is from Peterborough and works for the RAF.

Calm yourselves people, we all have a penchant for women in uniform. I had a huge crush on the Lollipop Lady at school. I used to feign asthma attacks on the zebra crossing to get some of her pastoral care. Well she used to kick me and say “get up you stupid twat”, but that is beside the point.

MGUBL: “Why did you enter Miss Gay UK?”

SIAN: “I wanted to be a positive role model for boys and girls. I feel I am good at expressing my feelings so thought I would get it a go.”


MGUBL: “What do you think was the one thing that got you into the final?”

SIAN: “I think it was generally my personality. I have a style and a confidence and am very individual. The heat took place all the way back in April so it’s hard to recall all that happened”

I remember April well. I was in Florida and can recall a close shave with a rather obtuse alligator that had chosen our villa pool as its waterhole. Lollipop Ladies and Alligators, who would have em eh!


MGUBL: “Where did the event take place?”

SIAN: “The Crown Inn in Peterborough. It is owned by a lovely lesbian couple!”


MGUBL: “Tell me about your job?”


SIAN: “I work for the RAF. I am an environmental health technician. We take care of all the forces members. I love my job”

MGUBL: “Who is your favourite lesbian icon?”

SIAN: “Definitely Ellen DeGeneres. I like that she is opinionated, and she is very black and white. What you see is what you get. I’m like that too.”

I fear for my lesbian status I really do. I cannot stand Ellen; yes, she has done wonders for the community, and is shagging Portia, possibly the hottest women on the planet. Okay I do not like her for that reason I admit it.


MGUBL: “Eastenders or Hollyoaks?”


SIAN: (Laughs,) “That’s a tough one. I will have to say Eastenders?”


MGUBL “Would you do Helen Mirren (Prime Suspect not Queen Era)?


SIAN: “Yes I would because she is out there and different?”


MGUBL: “What TV show would you like to appear on?”


SIAN: “One of those late night quizzes where my personality could shine through”


I spent almost £50 on one of those programmes. We had to fill in the word. It was a six-letter word beginning with W, after eighteen attempts at one pound per minute I got through. The host who was clearly hyperactive said “Your answer Kathy” I said "Wanker". It was wombat, I was close.

MGUBL: “What would you bring to the community if you won Miss Gay UK?”


SIAN: “I would bring my personality and my objectives on life. I am a good communicator and express my feelings well. I feel I take other peoples point of view really well and would be a good role model”

MGUBL: “Have you ever made a Christmas dinner?”


SIAN: “Yes I have the full works. I love to cook I think I am a good girlfriend but I have just been dumped. I am too soft I think. But you have to pick up your feet and get on with it”

Sian is free and single. Another incentive for you all to make the pilgrimage to Birmingham.

MGUBL: “What were you in a past life?”

SIAN: “Well I’m not sure, but I would like to hope that I was someone that was remembered.”


MGUBL: “Do you have any phobias?”

SIAN: “Yes spiders, but being in the military you are not really meant to shown any weakness, so you have to suck it up”

MGUBL: “Do you have any special talents?”


SIAN: “I a professional street dancer. I break dance, and I play Hockey for England. I’m in the England squad”


That is impressive. I hated hockey after Michelle Hoyton smashed me in the mouth with her bloody hockey stick. I now have a phobia of hockey playing women called Michelle

MGUBL: “Are you going to win Miss Gay UK?”


SIAN: “I hope so. I would like to. It’s a learning curve anyway so I will just enjoy the night.”

Thanks to Sian for her warmth and sincerity. This woman cooks, so any single women out there looking for a real catch come to Brum and meet her.


Please support Miss Gay UK anyway you can. Leah and Nina deserve all of our praise for the immense task they have taken on. I will be accepting tequilas at the bar from 5pm onwards!

http://www.missgayuk.co.uk/

Miss Gay UK: Interview with Kimberley Sanger.

So, we are into the last furlong before the Miss Gay UK final, taking place in Birmingham this Friday.

Kimberley Sanger, a mere whippersnapper at 18, is the latest soldier to the Interview battlefield. Pat Benatar proclaims that love is a battlefield; I would like to ask Ms Benatar to attend the final, to see that ambition is a battlefield.

I will be accompanied to the final by my nearest and dearest, and they will all be desperate for alcohol, so if anyone wants to buy them a drink….I say, please do, it will save me at least £100.

Kimberley is from the sexy region of Swindon. I had a drunken liaison in Swindon with a married woman called Saskia, so I have nostalgic feelings about the entire county of Wiltshire.

MGUBL: “Why did you enter Miss Gay UK, and how does it feel to be stepping in for the winner?” (Shixin, who won the final, cannot make it now, so 4th place winner Kimberley has picked up the London torch)


KIMBERLEY: “I feel really proud to be representing London, the gay capital of the UK. It’s the biggest honour”


MGUBL: “The London heats were tough. Did you have a special talent to show off?”


KIMBERLEY: “Not really. I have my own special talents. I can cut my own Hair, and everybody else’s. I feel I have small unique talents”

God I need my hair done before the final. My stylist, Edwina, has gone to a health spa for colonic irrigation. Selfish cow!


MGUBL: “Tell me about your job?”

KIMBERLEY: “I am a part-time DJ for a gay venue in Swindon, and I am also a credit controller for Dolby!”


MGUBL: “Who is you’re favourite lesbian icon?”


KIMBERLEY: “Oh that’s got to be Beth Ditto, she fab. She gets naked and gyrates on her microphone stand on stage. I think she’s amazing”

MGUBL: “Talking of naked…I saw you’re Beaver in Diva. How was that photo shoot?”

KIMBERLEY (laughs,) “It was brilliant. It as a nerve-wracking experience. I forgot my robe, so they lent me one that was way too small, it did not even cover my arse. I really enjoyed it. I mean Diva asked so I couldn’t say no could I?”

For all of those leafing quickly through the latest Diva in eager anticipation turn to page 42.

MGUBL: “Do you believe in serendipity and the constant flow of the universe?”


KIMBERLEY: (Laughs,) “Sorry what?”

MGUBL “Fate, you must believe in fate, as it brought you to the Miss Gay UK Final after all?”

KIMBERLEY: “Yes, I do believe in fate?”

MGUBL: “Would you do Kelly Brooke?”


KIMBERLEY: “I have to say I wouldn’t, it’s a personality thing for me, and I would decline”

I would not kick her out of bed for eating cream crackers I can tell you…

MGUBL: “Strictly come dancing or Cirque De Celebrite?”

KIMBERLEY: “Got to be strictly come dancing. I haven’t seen the other one, is it good?”

MGUBL: “No its shite. If you like ex big brother housemates straddling a high wire whilst Ruby Wax has some psychotic episode in the ring wearing a bizarre costume, then it might be for you.”

MGUBL: “What would you bring to the community if you won Miss Gay UK?”

KIMBERLEY: “I think I would try and make being gay more acceptable. The community is too segregated. I would like to make more places gay friendly, so it begins to be classified as normal. Because it is normal to be gay!”

MGUBL: “What were you in a past life?”

KIMBERLEY: “Oh my god I was definitely a man. I think like a man, and I have the brain of a man.”


MGUBL: “Do you have any phobias?”

KIMBERLEY: “Yes, butterflies, oh I hate butterflies. I would rather sit in a bath full of snakes than have a butterfly near me”

MGUBL: “Are you going to win Miss Gay UK?”

KIMBERLEY: “I am (laughs). I would really like to win as I feel I can do really big things for Miss Gay UK. I do hope I win”

Thanks to Kimberley for a great interview. For all of you that are humming and hawing about going to Brum, let me leave this little adage for you.

Life is too short, and there will be wall-to-wall women…


Please support Miss Gay UK anyway, you can. Leah and Nina who are the organisers have been working flat out to make this a great competition.

http://www.missgayuk.co.uk/

Miss Gay UK: Interview with Leah McCullough.

I have been thinking about the universe in the last couple of days. The ebb and flow of human nature, the push and pull of our disquieted lives and came to the following conclusion.

Living in Provence with Nigella would certainly have it pitfalls. I mean yes to wake up alongside the culinary Adonis would be a bonus, but then what if this dream were in fact not what we expect or want it to be?? Maybe Yvette Fielding is more my type?

I mean knocking about an old castle at 3am waiting to be possessed by the ghost of Gwendolyn; a 13th century whore is far more appealing. I offer myself up to be possessed, with Yvette mopping my fevered brow….all she would have to do would be to ditch that full length puffer jacket! I have a phobia of puffer jackets.

Anyway, back to reality and a rather endearing interview with Leah McCullough from Belfast. I am partial to a Northern Irish accent; it could melt me like butter in the slap of a word. Being 32, Leah feels that she has wisdom to share. She also could possibly be a Romany Gypsy in a past incarnation, who we can affectionately call Gypsy Rose Leah.

MGUBL: “Why did you enter Miss Gay UK?”


LEAH: “I saw a poster and I thought I can be Miss Gay UK, it’s like a gay Miss Congeniality, and I love that movie. I was G+T’d up and I thought well I’m gay and I’m from the UK so I’m qualified to enter”

At this point I am all ready smitten with her accent! It is charming.


MGUBL: “What venue was it held at?”


LEAH: “It was held in Belfast at a pub called DuBarry’s. There were 14 contestants and it was a right laugh. We all laughed at lot. I was the granny of the bunch, you know being 32, but I thought ah well I’ve a brass neck on me, so go for it”

For all of us not aware with the Irish colloquialism 'a Brass Neck On me' it means…..she’s got a really big pair of bollocks and isn’t afraid to use em…


MGUBL: “Can you make homemade soda bread?”

LEAH: “Oh my god I can, I fucking can. I make potato bread actually, and I have a couple of secret weapons that I put in there. My friends are banging on my door on a Saturday to get there hands on my bread!”

(My friends are banging on the door to get there hands on my baps, but that’s another story)

MGUBL: “What would you do if you won Miss Gay UK…and how would it change you?”


LEAH: “I don’t think anything could change me, good luck with that (laughs). I think it would enhance my life and my personality, and open doors for me. If I did win I would use my wisdom and make the word lesbian more acceptable. I’d do it with integrity and a pinch of style.”

MGUBL: “How’s the gay scene over in Ireland?”

LEAH: “Improving and we have to thank the older lesbians for that. They have nurtured the gay scene and we can now reap the benefits. The lesbians who are now in there 40’s and 50’s are the ones to thank. Having said that there are no women only bars in Belfast, DuBarrys welcome lesbians with open arms though”.

MGUBL: “I’ve heard that the Irish make fantastic lovers. Can you confirm or deny these allegations?”


LEAH: (Laughs,) “I can neither confirm nor deny, but of course, I can confirm that my fiancé of almost 8 years is fantastic.”

MGUBL: “Have you ever met the Nolan’s?”

LEAH: “Oh my god, yes, I swear to fuck I met Bernie. She was in a pub and had been on loose women talking about giving up smoking, and there she was smoking like 40 tabs one after the other. We went up and said it is cool to see you and you are a liar. She was lovely spent time talking to us.”


MGUBL: “Who would be your ideal woman to have a date with?”

LEAH: “Okay this is fantasy date right? Then it would have to be Annie Lennox. She is strong and can belt out a tune. I’d cook and clean for her (laughs) the word cool doesn’t even come close to encapsulating who she is.”

MGUBL: “What do you think the lesbian community needs to change?”

LEAH: “In think it’s a bit of an inner circle, very insular. I can accuse myself of the same thing. Its small community but needs to be more vocal. We need to gay up the world, so that in future generations it will be more acceptable. I have brilliant family who are really proud of who I am.”

MGUBL: “James Joyce or WB Yeats?”

LEAH: “Oh you’re an evil woman. I am going to have to say both. Make a poet sandwich of them both.”

MGUBL: “Do you have any phobias?”

LEAH: “Oh my god how long have you got? Cockroaches and flying cockroaches. Oh and brass bands, I literally crumple into a heap when I hear a brass band…crawling I am on hands and knees. Yes and Swing chairs at the funfair, there’s something so wrong about those!”

I thought my list of phobias was extensive!

MGUBL: “What will be you’re killer tactic for the final?”

LEAH: “I’m going to try and make everyone laugh. I love to see people laughing. I am a right idiot I must say. Therefore, if I make people laugh then I have achieved something. I’ve got twenty friends coming over with me, and they are loud, so you will definitely hear them.”

MGUBL: “If you won what would you do with you’re title?”

LEAH: “I would promote myself and big up my profile so I could make a positive change to gay people. My girlfriend had a dream that I ended up on the L Word, but I wasn’t allowed to kiss Shane or Pappi.”

Am I the only lesbian on the planet who just does not get the Shane thing? I mean she looks like my nephew for Christ’s sake!

MGUBL: “Choose between Winona Ryder and Julia Roberts?”

LEAH: “Julia Roberts If I had to. I mean Winona ruined little women for me, it was all so wrong, and then the whole shoplifting scandal, so Julia. But don’t you think Julia Roberts has too many teeth, she has like 30 teeth on the top set alone!”

At this point, I tell Leah that I own a free Winona t-shirt and that I might have to bring it to Birmingham. Winona was not shoplifting exactly, but the Percadin had made her forget to pay for the luxury items….can happen to us all!

MGUBL: “What would you have been in a past life?”

LEAH: “Oh god, I’m all into this stuff. I think I was definitely a Romany Gypsy. I often get a sense of Déjà vu. I often get a sense of Déjà vu. So definitely a Romany Gypsy”

My warm thanks go out to Leah, who had me in stitches. I am looking forward to meeting the gang of twenty Irish women in Birmingham. They are also going to buy me tequila! I have ordered the ambulance and stomach pump in advance.

Please support Miss Gay UK anyway, you can.

http://www.missgayuk.co.uk/

Miss Gay UK: Interview with Rachael Cobain.

I feel like a Persian prince with a harem….all these women to interview, so little time! For those of you wondering about the X-Factor blog, that will be following shortly.

Firstly, I must tell of a dream I had involving my heroine, Nigella Lawson, and a rather opulent plate of profiteroles. I was a contestant on Masterchef, and I had one hour to make Michelin start profiteroles. The judges were Germaine Greer and luscious Nigella.

In this dream I had one of those aprons on that resembles a woman wearing a bra and knickers, you know that apron, there is one in every home in the UK. Your uncle wears it at Christmas, anyway I messed up my choux pastry, and it looked liked polyfiller. Nigella came over, eyed my cement blob, and said “God that looks like shit, but I’m sure it’s salvageable!” Moreover, with that she whipped me with a pink tassel, suddenly as if by magic, my cement blob turned into the most perfect pastry the world has ever known. I win Masterchef, marry Nigella and move to Provence!

Back to the job at hand and the Miss Gay UK’s finalist interviews. The next poor old soul to get the “treatment” is Rachael Cobain. She is from Manchester is 20 years young and has a wicked sense of humour!

MGUBL: “So Rachael, why did you enter Miss Gay UK?”

RACHAEL: “Basically because I’m nosey and geeky, and I’d never seen the competition before, so I thought I would give it a good go. I just thought feck it.”

MGUBL: “Were you nervous at all?”

RACHAEL: “Yes, it was very daunting. There were 26 contestants, and we had two heats. The competition was stiff; there were some fantastic women there.”

MGUBL: “What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done?”

RACHAEL:“ Well, I make a complete tit out of myself every weekend (laughs) but the time when I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me was when I was first coming out. I was walking down Canal Street and it was Manchester pride. I had just enrolled at my sixth form college and saw my PE teacher walking along with a group of friends. She was absolutely gorgeous by the way. Anyway, my friends call out to her ‘Oi Oi, Rachael really fancies you’ I could have died on the spot. The PE teacher says you are Rachael aren’t you? I’ll see you at hockey practice on Monday…It took me months to get over that”


MGUBL: “What do you do when you’re not stalking PE teachers on Canal Street?”

RACHAEL: “I have a boring job, I sell insurance for the CO-OP, but I have put an application form in to be a police officer, so hopefully soon I will be training for that”

MGUBL: “How do you spend you’re free time?”

RACHAEL: “I spend most weekends with friends; I go to the pictures a lot as im trying to save money. We have dinner parties. I like to say that I am selectively single at the moment?”

MGUBL: “If you win Miss Gay UK would it change you?”


RACHAEL:"No, it would not change me. I have people coming up to me in Manchester congratulating me. I would bring a bit of fun with the title, and would like to make positive changes for the community. I am also interested in organizing charity events.”

MGUBL: “Who do you think is the hottest Lesbian icon?”

RACHAEL: “Oh I have to say Sharon Stone, she’s gorgeous. I mean we have Ellen, feck Ellen, give me Sharon every time”

I would rather not feck Ellen If I am honest; she has too much money and wears Cashmere sweaters, which bring me out in a rash.

MGUBL: “What do you think you might have been in a past life?”

RACHAEL: “I think I must have been a well kept woman, my pay packet this lifetime isn’t cutting it.”

MGUBL: “Do you have any phobias?”

RACHAEL:“This is going to sound odd but I have a phobia of wooden lollipop sticks. If im eating a FAB, I have to get a friend to put the wrapper round the stick so I can’t see it.”


MGUBL: “What reality TV show would you consider entering?”

RACHAEL: “Definitely Big Brother, that’s the show that gets the most publicity, so I would do it purely for that reason. Big Brother is really addictive. I usually start watching properly a couple of weeks in.”

MGUBL: “Seeing as though you appreciate women so much Demi Moore or Angelina Jolie?”

RACHAEL:“Oh my god definitely Demi Moore, she gorgeous for an older woman and has a great body?”

It is funny that most of the girls I have interviewed like older women. There is hope for all of us that are pushing 40.


MGUBL: “What would you like to say to the lesbian community?”

RACHAEL: “I think basically that I would love to be given the opportunity to do well in Miss Gay UK, so I could promote it more. I met up with Mr Gay UK in Manchester, and he gave me advice on what to expect from the final, and what he has been through since winning. I am interested in making a positive change. I want to get the ball rolling. I think Miss Gay UK should be as big as Mr Gay UK should. I feel lesbians are slightly sidelined, and they need to get out there and get a voice. I really want to be able to up the lesbian profile so we can all make a difference collectively.”

Thanks so much to Miss Cobain, who entertained me immensely, and has offered to buy me tequila on the 9th to steady my nerves…The little Lothario.

Next interview coming shortly. Please support this event as much as you can, as we can all make a difference. http://www.missgayuk.co.uk/

MGUBL

Miss Gay UK: Interview with Andrea Kenny

You will all be happy to know that my man flu is on the wane. Well certain people I know were secretly hoping that the strain of flu I had, would metastasize into a vile disease, which would incapacitate my vocal cords forever! They are well and truly out of my will now.

My collection of Victorian vibrators will have to find a new home after my passing!

My next victim to enter the seedy world of the Miss Gay UK interview arena is Andrea Kenny.

She hails from Brighton and is a reincarnation, we think, of Janis Joplin. She also has a bunch of groupies from Kent that are following her music career with keen eyes, and freshly laundered undercrackers that they throw at her on stage.

Well they do not but it sounds more rock and roll. Not bad though for a 26 year old to have groupies at all. She also suffers from a phobia of gubbins, those errant bits of crumb/richtea/disgestive/tobacco bits that end up in the bed. Gubbins is a technical term for these nasty rogue pieces of crap.

MGUBL: “How did your journey into Miss Gay UK transpire?”

ANDREA: “Well, I actually live at the Marlborough in Brighton and they hosted the event, so really I did it for a bit of a laugh. My girlfriend chickened out, so I went ahead anyway.”

MGUBL: “What do you think was the one thing that got you into the final?”

ANDREA: “To be honest I think it was my answer to the question they gave me- would winning Miss Gay UK change you? - My answer was NO!”

A one-word answer girl, my kind of chick. There is a gravelly smoothness to her voice, which is actually very soothing. I might have to hire her to help me with my hypnosis! I am planning on taking over the world via hypnotic induction. It is a five-year plan.

MGUBL: “How many tattoos do you have?”

ANDREA: “I have 15 tattoos and (at this point I hear her counting) 5 piercings”

She does tell me the names of the piercings but they sound like foreign cities or karma sutra sex positions! I know one called Ampallang but this knowledge came from a rather drunken night in the annals of backstreet Soho, and my subconscious mind has thankfully blocked this out!

MGUBL: “Tell me about your true passion your music?”

ANDREA: “I’m a singer/songwriter, and have been for ten years. I a resident artist at the Marlborough, and play all around the country. I played at Brighton pride and have a CD out called Andrea Kenny Procrastination. Unfortunately, they have all sold out so I am just waiting for more to come in. I really want to break into the mainstream consciousness.


MGUBL: “What type of music do you play?”

ANDREA: “It’s Bluesy Acoustic inspired by the likes of Janis Joplin and KT Tunstall.”

For all of you interested in hearing Andrea Kenny’s music go to her myspace page and prepare to be inspired.

www.myspace.com/andreakennymusic


MGUBL: “Who is you’re favourite lesbian Icon, Angelina and KD don’t count?”

ANDREA: “I would have to say Janis Joplin, cos she liked the ladies too, and also James Dean. I don’t tend to view people as lesbian or heterosexual, I just like people”

I wonder if, in fact, James Dean was a lesbian trapped in mans body, not unlike Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen.

MGUBL “X-Files or Star Trek?”

ANDREA: “It’s got to be Star Trek I was raised on Star Trek. I used to sit on my dad’s knee a lot and watch it”

MGUKBL: “Were you possibly breastfed on Star Trek?”

ANDREA: Laughs, “No because that would mean that my dad would have had to have breasts”

I need to interject now and put a disclaimer that Andrea’s father does not have, nor has ever had man boobs.Also no animals were hurt in the writing of this blog.

MGUBL: “Would you do Gillian Anderson, pre bleak house of course?”

ANDREA: “Well she was hot in the X-Files, but she’s not really my cup of tea to be honest.”

MGUBL “If you could be on any reality TV show, which would you pick and why?”

ANDREA: “It would have to be shipwrecked, purely because of the beauty of the location. I would never want to go on Big Brother or the X-Factor. I think the X Factor would be a nail in the coffin of any music career.”


MGUBL: “What would you bring to the community if you won Miss Gay UK?”

ANDREA: “I would bring honesty and frankness and I would also campaign for cleaner ladies toilets at a certain Brighton bar that shall remain nameless”

As a side note, Andrea defaced her own picture in Brighton before anyone else could. She drew a willy on her own forehead. A pre-emptive willy if you will.

MGUBL: “Have you ever cooked a baked Alaska?”

ANDREA: “No, but I do love meringue. I don’t bake cakes either I’m afraid”

(Nigella Lawson bakes a decent Alaska. Oh how I would sell my soul to the devil to see her eating that dressed in a nun’s habit.)

MGUBL “What do you believe you might have been in a past life?”

ANDREA: “I do believe in past lives, I would have to say like a big cat or tiger, or a bug. I have a strong affiliation with bugs. I like to rescue them and bring them home.”

MGUBL “Anything you want to add, and any special talents?”

ANDREA: “Well I broke my elbow when I was eight, and can rotate it like 90 degrees, and I have a very long tongue (we both laugh). Also and most importantly, I would like to get the exposure of Miss Gay UK out there. It should be on a par with the popularity of Mr Gay UK. I think we, as contestants, are responsible to getting this wonderful event publicised. I would like to see it get lots more support.”

Well said Andrea! Miss Gay UK are working exceedingly hard to get this into the public eye. Please support this event as much as you can. Thanks to the amazing Miss Kenny who was a pleasure to talk to.

Stay tuned for the next interview with Miss Gay Manchester.

Miss Gay UK: Interview with Alex Hartley

I am afraid I have been rather quiet of late. I have been laid low with a virulent strain of Man Flu and have been unable to muster the strength to reach the keyboard! Let me tell you, lemsip and night nurse should never be taken together!

I am back now with the belated interview with Miss Gay UK’s East Midlands winner Alex Hartley. Not to be mistaken with Hartley the Hare from Pipkins. I had a disturbing dream about Pig from Pipkins the other night, he came up to me with two massive cream buns in a holster and said, “It’s never too late to sniff the wind of freedom” I awoke in a pool of sweat. I fear the Man Flu may have rendered me clinically insane.

Anyway, Miss Gay UK’s heat winner Alex Hartley 23 is passionate about charity work and her job as a youth worker. She also is a very apt at poi spinning (poi spinning is NOT a device used to stimulate the clitoris as I thought but a Maori fire juggling tradition)

MGUBL: “Why did you decide to enter Miss Gay UK?”

ALEX: “To be honest at first I did it for a bit of a laugh, friends persuaded me to enter, but when I found out it was going to be a charitable event I really wanted to take it seriously”

MGUBL: ““What was your competition like?”

ALEX: “God, I was really nervous. It was a nerve-racking experience. We were whittled down to the last ten, and we had to have our interviews with the judges in private, as there was a problem with the PA system that night. The other girls were lovely. I think everyone was nervous.

MGUBL: “Any secret weapons you are going to use to try and win Miss Gay UK?” (I said this in a menacing secret agent voice)

ALEX: “I’m not really a game player to be honest and I don’t have any tactics. If I did win I think it would be a compliment to me being just an average lesbian”

(I feel that there are no run of the mill lesbians in this world. I am looking for one so I can tick it off on my facebook things to do before I die list)

MGUBL: “What women do you truly admire?”

ALEX: “I am definitely going to have to say Jane Tomlinson. She was such an amazing women and such an inspiration to me. She came from the same area that my parents are from so I heard a lot about her from the local news. She did so many things, like riding across the US after being told she had only 7 months to live and ending up living 8 years longer. She is truly inspirational. Every breath of her life was devoted to her family and her fight against cancer. She has really inspired me in my own life.” http://www.janesappeal.com/


MGUBL: “Have you any special talents” (For example, impersonating a giraffe or managing to insert a marrow sideways up your bum?”)

ALEX: “Hmm, well I have double jointed eyes and can move them independently and I do poi spinning. Poi spinning is fire juggling, you have two chains attached to a Kevlar straps and you can do tricks. I can also juggle.

For all of you wondering what poi spinning is go to http://www.homeofpoi.com/ as I am sure my explanation of it is sorely lacking. This is due to the fact I am writing under the influence of lemsip.

MGUBL: “When you’re not poi spinning or looking in two directions at one time, what else do you do?”

ALEX: “I am a youth worker in an underprivileged area. We deal with young offenders and people excluded from the community. I also worked with STRIDE clubs and worked for the LBGT youth club. I am passionate about my job and love what I do.”

MGUBL “Judge Judy or Boston Legal?”

ALEX: laughs “Judge Judy if I had to choose, I like how she shouts at everyone”

I have to confess I would choose Judy Scheindlin myself; there is something strangely erotic about her demeanour.

MGUBL “What have you been in a past life?”

ALEX: “I think I must have been a roamer, someone who moved around a lot. I have a fear of missing out on life. Perhaps I was a bird as I imagine I would have flown everywhere, and I wouldn’t leave a carbon footprint.”

MGUBL: “Any phobias you would like to share with us?”

ALEX: Laughs, “Not really I’m afraid. The only phobia I have is of spiders. I can’t stand spiders.”

I am tempted to tell her of my litany of phobias, like vomit and people eating ice-cream cones, but I stay stum.

MGUBL: “Have you seen the film Pay It Forward? I am starting a Gay Pay It Forward campaign. How would you pay it forward?”

ALEX: “God I loved that film, it really made me cry. I think it would have to be something quite simple like being a slave for someone for a day(not in the kinky way!!!) and doing all their chores so that they have time to spend on themselves(or spend family time)I think that its the little things that make a difference.”

MGUBL “Anything else you would like to say in regards to the lesbian community or life in general?”

ALEX: “I think there is more to life than being a lesbian. People are too narrow-minded in this world, and sometimes fail to see other people’s opinion. I am into exploring life in some many different ways and am fascinated by other people. If someone asks, are you rich? I think there are many ways to be rich. Love can make you rich.

We were struggling to look for a word about people who are unable to see other people’s lives and she asked me to pick a word. I think the right word for ignorant people is MYOPIC

I want to thank Alex for her interview, and her honesty and integrity. She is passionate about charities and her work!

My next interview will be posted shortly. Miss Gay UK organisers have asked if anyone can suggest a charity. Woman’s Aid have declined to be the designated charity due to the fact that it is a beauty pageant ( even though they have been a sponsored charity for Miss UK) So please put forward any suggestions for charities in keeping with the ethos of Miss Gay UK.

I must go now and extract a rather large marrow from my behind, as its making sitting rather awkward

MGUBL.

London final of Miss Gay UK: Battle wounds and glory.

I sauntered up to the Edge Bar, Soho, for round two of the ritual humiliation, oh sorry I mean Miss Gay UK. I got there early and had time to reflect on the ridiculousness of what I was doing. I mean, when you get into that spiral thought pattern, it’s a sinking ship! I was a condemned woman when I saw the rest of the finalists, all fresh faced and cool with a sprinkling of intrigue and a dash of confidence you have when you are young.
I am 40 the only sprinkling I have is of jaded realism and was not fresh faced. A sad reality of aging is the bleak actuality of wrinkles and a pallor my mother calls “of the grave”

However, never the less I strode on. It was nice to meet the women I met the week before again. Esther and Anna are lovely women and we all gathered nervously in the contestant row off stage (felt more like death row to me)
I thought I distinctly heard a whisper on the wind “dead man walking” and caught sight of Susan Sarandon dressed in a habit….I think I might have had an off sausage, as I was hallucinating at this point.

When contestants were pushed on their lesbian icons, Pink, Angelina and Portia were high on the list. I fear I must be ill, as mine would have been Nigella Lawson! Her cookery is akin to soft porn. Have you ever watched that women eating a lobster claw? It is practically erotic.

I got a strange comfort from seeing Paris, another contestant from the 2nd heat. We have a lot in common and I felt a pang of comrade kinship. It is like going into battle! Once more into the breach dear friends.

The lovely Leah was looking particularly stunning and well groomed, she does not adhere to my past life philosophies, but she could have been an Egyptian Siren, who called the mariners in from the Dead Sea.
In fact, during what should have been my speech and only time to impress the judges, she launched into a rather impromptu Oleta Adams rendition. It was rather beautiful I have to say, and I didn’t mind her spoiling the meagre chance I had to impress the panel of judges….Only kidding Leah…I will get you back in the next life though.

There was a good atmosphere in there, loads of women gyrating to Lil Jo’s frenetic beats. I am not a DJ connoisseur at all, but I could tell from watching Jo, that a certain type of creative process seems to happen when she is at the decks. Like a stream of consciousness pours into her tiny frame, and the art of her mix comes through. It was quite something to watch actually. I found myself beguiled by this poetry in motion.

Bex, I thought, was a trooper, she had to nestle a champagne bottle between her boobs, and limbo backwards to get a sip. To her credit, she did this, and she took her top off. The women went wild at this point. It was like being at a Siegfried and Roy Vegas show. The women could have pounced at any point. Lion tamers might have had to be brought in, to whip these savage women back.

The question round saw us all pitted together with similar questions. I’m not a competitive person at all, and found the process quite difficult, but the contestants were lovely, and we tried to help each other out.

When it got to my question, there was so much talking at the rear that I had to yell SHUT UP AT THE BACK, probably not the best move in hindsight, but howdy hum. I had to talk about if my Ex came back if I won Miss Gay UK…well like I said, the first thing I would ask for would be my Dyson back and my champagne flutes that she took as revenge for our collapsed relationship. The last spit on the tomb of the relationship was her also taking one toilet roll.

I would have liked to have seen some more older women in the competitions, after all, after 30 lesbians don’t crawl under a proverbial rock and die, living off a meagre diet of Claire Macnab novels and wistfully thinking back to the good old days!

So next year, all of you older lesbians, with wrinkles that show wisdom and love handles that show a life well lived and a plethora of lovers wounds, why not enter Miss Gay UK?

As is probably evident, I did not get through but I must say I really enjoyed the experience, and am happy I did it. I am now also much happier going back to the medium I am comfortable with, and will hopefully be writing a Miss Gay UK blog, in which I would like to interview the finalists.

Congratulations go to the finalist, Shixin Bickerton, who will be going on the Miss Gay UK final in Birmingham on November 9th. Stay tuned for interviews with the finalists and other behind the scenes gossip. Who needs the X Factor when we have a real life contest taking place under our very nose!

X-Factor's Big Lesbian : Jaunt into Miss Gay UK

Before I post my first X-Factor blog I wanted to tell you what BBBL's final swan song was about. My venture in Miss Gay UK heat.


I confess to being extremely nervous as I travelled up to Soho for the second London heat of Miss Gay UK

Any excuse I could find on the way there to exit this ritual humiliation was tried. My wonderful and supportive sister was accompanying me, and I saw an all you can eat buffet for £4.99, “Oh, shall we go there instead, I’m feeling quite partial to a few ducks heads dipped in batter right now?”

My next excuse was derived out of sheer panic “Oh look colonic irrigation, I do feel a bit bogged down; maybe I should just pop in there, drop me cacks and let that rather large looking Polish shot-putter, shove a garden hose up my jacksy and clear me out?”

All was to no avail however, as I was dragged in to the Edge bar to face my fear demon; the dreaded public speaking!

When I met the lovely Leah, Miss Gay UK organiser (she and her partner volunteer their time from full time jobs, to run this event) I was put at ease. My fellow contestants were lovely; all had a story to tell and a special talent to showcase!

Fran could speak Spanish and Italian and put her whole fist in her mouth!! I couldn’t showcase my talent as it involves tantric sex, far too complicated on such a small stage! Esther cracked out a good signing voice, and the others also contributed with unique pizazz.

We were then asked a question that the judges would grade us on. Let me tell you all now, you really put yourself on the line in a thing like this. It could go either way, it could be cringe worthy humiliation, the sort that makes you want to hide your head in your heads and ask Jesus for forgiveness, or you could triumph to an accolade of rapturous applause.

Luckily none of us had to call on the spirit of Jesus for penitence. There was definitely a rowdy rabble in the bar. It was like a scene from the life of Brian, you know the scene where Biggus Dickus comes to the balcony and asks, with desperate lisp,” rewlease brwian” It was that kind of crowd, I feel they could have turned at any moment into a baying hysterical mob! It was fabulous.

My question from the judges was “What do you think of competitions like Miss England, and how would you change it?”

As I was called to the stage to wow with my cunning acumen, my mind froze. I was gripped in the panic that I would not be able to get the words from my mind out through my rather huge gob, but I was fine, I do remember saying something about making the Miss England contestants complete a rubric’s cube in less than three minutes.

Which is strange, seeing as though I couldn’t do a rubric’s cube in less than 3 minutes? I used to peel the stickers on mine and “finish” it that way!

If you were a teenager in the 1980’s you will empathise with this rubric’s cube pressure cooker! We were all at it!! We were cunning in our ways of cheating!


You will be interested to know, ( or maybe not) that by some amazing twist of fate, I managed to get into the London Finals taking place again at the edge bar next Sunday the 16th September.

Leah and Nina, I salute you for all the work you have put into this event, you should get a Richard and Judy badge for commitment!!

BBBL aka XFBL

Big Brother's Big Lesbian: The road less travelled.

BREAKING NEWS: Channel 4 axes Celebrity Big Brother next year!! Is BB now up for the chop too?


NEWSFLASH: Jonty, Kara-Louise and Tracey face the public on Friday with a double eviction

Mr X is back from LA where he was following Primark Posh on her trip to see the “sights” (Beckhams). Isn’t it weird that this seems normal for Chanelle, but if someone not in the public eye was doing this, they’d be up for stalking!!

According to the Daily Scum she was mobbed outside an LA boutique by adoring fans, which then realised it wasn’t in fact Carole Vorderman at all. I wonder why Chanelle is in LA? What does LA hold for her I wonder?

Maybe the same future that all Elvis look-a-likes have in Memphis, a regular slot down the Ole Smokey Bar crooning into a microphone that smells suspiciously of sick to a crowd of three rednecks, a dog and a corpse! (All these old American bars have a corpse in them, they are always stuck at the back next to where they keep the bar snacks)

Mr X says the Americans are Luke warm to Chanelle right now, and they say if she loses 20 stone, has cheekbone implants and starts to carry around a Chihuahua in a handbag, then maybe….just maybe!!

Back to the glitzy world of Elstree and Borehamwood! The gurus have finished enlightenment; all are now fully indoctrinated into the world of shamanism. I feel just honoured and holy to look at them on the TV…were not worthy, were not worthy!

I find BB’s ideas on enlightenment a little strange to say the least. You would have thought maybe they would have sought the advice of a true guru. Mr X did ask this to the producer, and she claimed they did try to seek counsel with a guru, but the lady in question, Vanessa Feltz, was on holiday in Blackpool!

So as we gallop down the last furlong of BB8 with two weeks remaining, who will be left in the final? BB has come in for a lot of criticism of late. BB death throes they call it. Blame the wannabe factor that is the problem. I think a mass cull of all wannabees in the UK should start forthwith. I feel the real problem this year is just the mix of housemates. I mean, next year Glamour models should be banned. Anyone that has been flirting on the edge of celebrity should be banned. I want to see Joe Smith, 35, Plumber from Catford on next years BB, but with a stipulation in all housemate contracts that they can’t be signed by an agent, so Joe Smith can’t appear on DIY SOS with Prick Nolte!!

I mean it s a sad day when BB has to resort to using Freddie and Munkitty Tunkitty as a ratings pull!! They sent the soft toys on holiday, and the stuff toys miraculously managed to write postcards and drink tequila slammers with two Barbie dolls who moonlight as strippers when they can get out of the toy box.

Brian, Liam, Jonty, Kara-Louise, Gerry and Carole all face the public vote this week, and the two housemates with the most votes will face the Gurus. They will decide who is evicted. So that’s Jonty and Kara-Louise then! Mr X tells me there is going to be a weeding out on Wednesday night, so its all a matter of time before Brian wins!

Madame Du Pravee did a special BB channelling last night, and wasn’t quite sure who would come through, and after a rather disappointing start, the spirit of Buddy Holly came raging in. His favourite housemate is Tracey and he is appearing in the otherworldly aptitude show called “Heavens got Talent” and will be singing a song in her honour called ‘Rave on Phat sister’. The emcee is none other than Jim Morrison himself (Yes folks he really did die in the 17 rue Beautreillis bathtub, and isn’t living in Cleethorpes and working at the Cleethorpes MacDonald’s) If only they had bothered to do that Autopsy eh? (Google anon)

According to Buddy Holly the voting system on “Heavens got Talent” is far more honest than down here, its all done telepathically, so there can be no cheating! BB are you listening!

Let’s see who goes on Friday. I predict Kara-Louise or maybe Munkitty Tunkitty

BBBL

Big Brother's Big Lesbian: Recap and interview with Thaila Zucchi.

BBBL got to interview Thaila Zucchi aka fake housemate Pauline Pooh, but before we get cosy on the couch with Ms Zucchi, let us recap the weekend in the house.

Carole moans, Amy gets the boot, Carole moans, Ziggy is dressed as Moses and is going to lead the Israelites to the Promised Land and part the Thames. Brian is on operation twin seduction and seems to be having minimal success and Carole is still moaning. All housemates must achieve enlightenment to avoid eviction. The Dalai Lama must be sobbing into his prayer beads as we speak. I think the housemates think enlightenment is a cocktail drink at The Ivy. God help us all if any of them pass this task. I will go to live in a yurt in Glastonbury if this happens!

Now lets get to the nitty gritty and unearth what’s lurking in the subconscious mind of Thaila Zucchi and find out about the thigh boots and her girlie holiday with a bunch of strippers.

BBBL: “How was your BB incarceration, and did you feel you fooled them enough?”

Thaila: “My time in the house wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I definitely thought it would be worse, and think they did take me for a real housemate. We did spend a lot of time sitting around on the sofas waiting for BB to tell us about tasks and things”

BBBL: “What drew you to take the part of pooh in BB8?”

Thaila: “Hmmm, I supposed I was flattered to be asked if I’m honest. I did spend a few days stewing on it, and then thought better to regret the things you have done than you things you haven’t, so I went for it. I was worried about the job though as I knew it would be tough.”

BBBL: “Have your views on BB changed since you became a housemate?”

Thaila: “No, not really. I think we forget that the housemates are human beings”

BBBL: “I’m not sure all are human, I think BB might have snuck in a couple of androids”

Thaila: (Laughs,) “Well okay, maybe some of them are human. I wasn’t prepared for the amount of time that is spent waiting around on sofas looking gormless”

BBBL: “Okay, enough of the niceties, let get down to the scum. I read that you were sent into the house to have a lesbian fling with Charley, but changed your mind. Can you elaborate?”

Thaila: (laughing) “Yeah, I have heard that too (laughing) the first I heard about it was from a newspaper. It definitely was not part of the job description. I mean, that would be akin to prostitution wouldn’t it!”

BBBL: (laughs in menacing manner) “Indeed, I wonder where it came from then?”

Thaila: “I think it was because when Charley was watching me on the plasma screen she said I could share her bed. I think she was just being friendly”

BBBL: “Or maybe to get you onside?”

Thaila: (giggles) “Maybe, who knows?”

BBBL: “Which housemate did you gravitate to most?”

Thaila: “There were two people actually. Gerry because he made a lot of time for me. I truly think he is a nice honest decent person, and Liam, who had a great sense of humour, which is something I hope I have. We had a lot of banter, and we flirted a little. I was sent in there to flirt with the boys you know (laughs). Tracey really kept her distance from me; she made no effort to get to know me at all. I think if I had been a 37-year-old bloke, it might have been different. She might have been aveing it then. (We both laugh)

BBBL: “Is Liam as good looking as he comes across on TV?”

Thaila: “Yes, he’s not bad. I think I just liked the vibe of him; he is very flirty, like I am, so we hit it off. I also think there is a lot of sexual frustration in the house. It is nice to get the attention I suppose. Do I look the same as I did on TV?”

BBBL: (panics at loaded question) “No, you are much smaller than I imagined. I never met anyone with such a tiny waist?”(well maybe Dolly Parton but that doesn’t count as she wears a corset)

Thaila: (laughs) “Well, I don’t watch myself on TV, I hate it. However, TV does put on weight, but I am such a foodie, I should go to the gym, but I love my food too much. I’m definitely a fattie food foo”

BBBL thinks that she might, in fact, have been Aphrodite in a past life, but does not yet realise her potential!

BBBL: “Did you feel the pressure of Carole’s Spanish Inquisition type questions about your fake birthplace Walla Walla?”

Thaila: (exhaling to expunge the Carole demon) “Yes, she was very suspicious of me (laughs) my characters details would change from day to day. BB would add something in at the last minute. I was constantly aware of what I was saying. I was going to be from Jerramungup, but did not think I would remember that convincingly; it was hard, as the perimeters of my character changed constantly. It was a tough gig. I would often avoid eye contact with Carole, so she would not start asking questions! At times it made me feel uncomfortable”

BBBL: “I have a blog reader from Walla Walla; do you think they might be a Pooh fan?”

Thaila: (laughing) “Maybe, I would love to go to Walla Walla to see what it its like. I did get mixed reviews about my accent in the press so maybe I should go and practice it”

BBBL: “Your meditation class was one of the highlights of BB for me. Were you winging it?”

Thaila: “I was completely winging it; I had to go and wake them up to persuade them to do it, which I managed with most of them. BB was telling me to hurry it up, but I did not want to end it too early to provoke suspicion. Ziggy was watching me the entire time from the sidelines, and it was hard for me to keep a straight face. I did have to suppress a laugh at one point. I was though, very aware of not offending the spiritual community but also knew I had to make it entertaining and believable.”

BBBL: “Where is that bloody washing machine hidden? As I really am tiring of watching Carole mangling her kecks?”

Thaila: (laughs) “This I don’t know, I did hear that they might be able to win a washing machine?” I was able to go into the camera run and was privvy to watching Carole washing her knickers in the bathtub. I felt a little that I was invading her privacy.”

BBBL thinks….that is a huge bathtub then!

BBBL :( bracing myself to ask this question) “I must slip this little question in, have you ever kissed a woman?”

Thaila: (laughing)” Let me think here, I have had drunken kisses with friends, and I have kissed all the girls in my band the Allstars…kissed ‘em all…ohh, and I did go on an all girl holiday with a bunch of strippers and there was drunken kissing then, but I have never kissed a woman on a romantic level.”

BBBL: (now gaining confidence) “Can you feel the chemistry we have ...are you feeling that pull?”

Thaila: (chuckles) “Oh I so can! There is a lot of energy going on. It reminds me of my meditation class, real positive energy. I really like you”

BBBL: “Would you like to be in my videoblog spoof of ‘Tipping the Velvet’ called Licking the Velcro and play the part of Kitty L’abia?”

Thaila: “Oh my god that sounds hilarious, of course I will (laughs)”

BBBL: “You are very funny in Star Stories, what was your favourite character to play?”

Thaila: “I’ve been lucky to be able to play fantastic characters, but I think my favourite has to be Kirsty Alley. I had to wear a fat suit and decided to go back to make-up and have them make me a camel toe! If you blink you miss it, all that extra time in make up for like a 5 second shot of my camel toe ( laughs) Friday is the last episode of Star Stories and I play a part in the Britney Spears story,that was fun too.” Incidentally Thaila played the part of Sharon Osbourne and J-Lo amongst others!

Are make up camel toes made from two chicken fillets and a jellybean?

BBBL: “When you were playing the bunny boiler in ‘Balls of Steel’ and you were flirting with that man in Battersea Park, was his girlfriend as scary as she seemed?”

Thaila: “Yes, very scary. There are some scary girlfriends out there. I was actually spat at once, and I had to sit there and take it as she oiked phlegm up into her throat (laughs) it was very scary.”

BBBL: “How was your stint as BBBM presenter, I remember you as being very nervous?”

Thaila: “Yes, I was nervous. I did feel as though I did not deserve to get that job, which I only got by default. I was worried that I would be booed, or that my boob would fall out of my top. I worry about things like that (laughs)”

BBBL: “I loved the thigh boots you wore, are they designer?”

Thaila: “Oh let me tell you about those boots, I found them in a second hand store, they are labelled Miss Hellfire I think, There Vintage (laughs)”

BBBL: “What does Ziggy’s tattoo say and do you think he will get a part on Star Stories as Cliff Richard?”

Thaila: (laughs) “I think I asked him what it said, but I cannot remember. I think it says I LOVE NYSYNC. He does sound like cliff Richard doesn’t he, I’m sure he appeal to mum types”

BBBL: “What are you doing now?”

Thaila: “Waiting for my friend to make me pasta (laughs), no I have a few things in the pipeline, like Strutter with Paul Kay and Star Stories. I have a presenting job coming up. In addition, in love Soup, I have a scene where I am getting down with a man and get to his under pant department all is not as it seems (both laugh) “

BBBL: “Have you already had people coming up and saying its Setanta and slamming down pies?”

Thaila: “No, haven’t had any pie action yet (at this point she is really laughing, and this goes on a bit) Yes, I have had a few people doing that. I have been recognised by some people on the tube!”

BBBL: “Did you know there is a Thaila for BB presenter campaign going on?”

Thaila: “Wow, that’s mad, funny but really mad. I’m shocked really, but it’s nice”

Thanks to Thaila for giving the interview and being a complete star. If you think she should be the next BB presenter, leave a comment on the blog comments with Yea or Nay. I must say I find the housemates dancing to the Dawning of the Age of Aquarius slightly demonic and must go and burn white sage.

BBBL

Big Brother's Big Lesbian: Interview with Adele Roberts

BBBL got to speak with Adele Roberts, former housemate on BB3, who went back into the house the other day to do the time travel task with Brain and Kara-Louise. She was joined by Alex Sibley another BB3 housemate and they had to do a sport challenge against Brian and Kara-Louise; needless to say, they won!

Brian, an avid BB watcher, was consumed with excitement when he realised they had travelled back to 2002, and had to enter the recreated “Rich side/Poor side” house. When Adele and Alex walked in….he thought Christmas and Easter had all come at once.

Adele was the first housemate to be booed on her eviction night, and we get down and dirty to exhume the truth about her BB3 experience, and to find out what’s she doing now!!

BBBL: “Firstly, how did it feel to be back in the BB house after five years?”

Adele: “Initially I was very worried about doing it. BB emailed me at work and I had to think about the ramifications of accepting, so I didn’t get back to them straight away. Instead I decided to call my mum who said basically, just do it and maybe lay some of those demons to rest!”

BBBL: “Okay, let’s talk about those demons. Did you regret your BB experience and did it change you?”

Adele: “I don’t regret going in as it has opened up some fantastic opportunities for me with my radio show. It definitely made me a better person and brought me a lot closer to my family, although I feel I could have made better choices. I was naive as to what it all entailed.”

BBBL: “Was it good to see Alex again?”

Adele: “Oh yes it was really good, I haven’t seen or spoken to him since 2002, but it felt like old times.”

BBBL: “Is Brian really that excitable?”

Adele (laughing): “Yes, and then some. There was a lot of footage they didn’t show and he was like that most of the time. Lovely guy.”

BBBL: “Would you ever consider doing BB again, like maybe CBB?”

Adele: “No, I don’t think there is any need to go back to living in that house, I think once you’ve done it, you’ve done your time.”

BBBL: “Can I ask about the famous booing on your eviction exit, how that really felt at the time?”

Adele: “Well, I was warned that it might happen by the BB producers, and we are told its all just pantomime, so not to worry about it, but of course it does affect you. I just couldn’t wait to get into the studio for my interview with Davina, as I couldn’t understand why I was being booed. I wanted to know why? I was totally perplexed by the whole thing” (…So was I, as I thought Adele hadn’t done anything wrong)

BBBL: “Ohh, talking of Davina, is she nice?”

Adele: “Yes, she’s lovely. She has two persona's though: the real Davina and the BB Davina.”

BBBL: “What good has come out of your BB experience?”

Adele: “The best thing of course is my Radio show on Rock FM; I have got to meet some amazing people like 50 cent, Akon, The Pussycat Dolls (we both jointly laugh at this point), Nelly Furtado and Fergie.”

BBBL: “Who’s Fergie?” (I was thinking the Duchess of York!)

Adele: “Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas, they are just a few off the top of my head”

(…I am now thinking my music knowledge is seriously lacking!)

BBBL: “I have to ask, do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend?”

Adele: (laughing): “Yes, I have a girlfriend.” (…Sorry Cow, I did ask about you and her hooking up but her girlfriend wouldn’t like it!)

BBBL: “What are your views on CBB last year and all the controversy?”

Adele: “To be honest I wasn’t watching it, but when I heard about what was going on I tuned in. I saw the bullying scene, and it made me feel physically sick, I personally don’t think BB should have shown all that footage, it wasn’t necessary, I felt like it was going to exacerbate the situation. I know Jade got her come uppance and all, but it was just uncomfortable viewing.”

BBBL sneaks in cheeky question here: “If you go to the BB after party can I come as your date?”

Adele (laughing): “I think my girlfriend might have something to say about that! I might be DJing at the after party though, and no one knows this yet, so that’s an exclusive for you! I will see if I can get you in. I’ll see what I can do.”

BBBL: “Ah thanks, I need some pictures for my blog and I secretly wish to see the
Luscious Davina!”

BBBL: “I read that your BB experiences affected your family, how so?”

Adele: “No-one knew that I was going into the BB house, only my mum and I sort of came out in there, by my own accord of course; but my family had to deal with all of the coming out issues without me. I also didn’t fully realise that I was going to be representing the Black/Mixed race and gay community, and feel I could have handled that responsibility better. I just thought naively that it wouldn’t have had an impact, but it did, that’s my only thing that my family had to suffer because of me being in the house.”


BBBL: “Can you tell me about the radio station you work for Rock FM, and what you do there, apart from meeting famous people?”

Adele: “ Yes, I do two shows a week, one on Friday night, ‘Smooth Grooves’ from 10.00 pm to 2.00 am and Sunday breakfast from 6.00 am to 10.00am.

You can find out exactly what she’s doing on the radio station by following the link here, included is also her MY SPACE page.

http://www.rockfm.co.uk/showdj.asp?djid=28241

Thanks Adele for the interview and for being so courteous and open, what a refreshing change to speak to someone in the public eye who is just normal, and not full of their own self importance. I think we can safely say the demons are now well and truly buried and any ghosts of BB past can be exorcised. Good Luck Adele and maybe you can teach me about Smooth Grooves, as I obviously don’t have a clue!