Miss Gay UK: Interview with Sian McClelland.

Phew, here we go again. All these women not enough time. Sian McClelland 24, Miss Gay East Anglia, is from Peterborough and works for the RAF.

Calm yourselves people, we all have a penchant for women in uniform. I had a huge crush on the Lollipop Lady at school. I used to feign asthma attacks on the zebra crossing to get some of her pastoral care. Well she used to kick me and say “get up you stupid twat”, but that is beside the point.

MGUBL: “Why did you enter Miss Gay UK?”

SIAN: “I wanted to be a positive role model for boys and girls. I feel I am good at expressing my feelings so thought I would get it a go.”


MGUBL: “What do you think was the one thing that got you into the final?”

SIAN: “I think it was generally my personality. I have a style and a confidence and am very individual. The heat took place all the way back in April so it’s hard to recall all that happened”

I remember April well. I was in Florida and can recall a close shave with a rather obtuse alligator that had chosen our villa pool as its waterhole. Lollipop Ladies and Alligators, who would have em eh!


MGUBL: “Where did the event take place?”

SIAN: “The Crown Inn in Peterborough. It is owned by a lovely lesbian couple!”


MGUBL: “Tell me about your job?”


SIAN: “I work for the RAF. I am an environmental health technician. We take care of all the forces members. I love my job”

MGUBL: “Who is your favourite lesbian icon?”

SIAN: “Definitely Ellen DeGeneres. I like that she is opinionated, and she is very black and white. What you see is what you get. I’m like that too.”

I fear for my lesbian status I really do. I cannot stand Ellen; yes, she has done wonders for the community, and is shagging Portia, possibly the hottest women on the planet. Okay I do not like her for that reason I admit it.


MGUBL: “Eastenders or Hollyoaks?”


SIAN: (Laughs,) “That’s a tough one. I will have to say Eastenders?”


MGUBL “Would you do Helen Mirren (Prime Suspect not Queen Era)?


SIAN: “Yes I would because she is out there and different?”


MGUBL: “What TV show would you like to appear on?”


SIAN: “One of those late night quizzes where my personality could shine through”


I spent almost £50 on one of those programmes. We had to fill in the word. It was a six-letter word beginning with W, after eighteen attempts at one pound per minute I got through. The host who was clearly hyperactive said “Your answer Kathy” I said "Wanker". It was wombat, I was close.

MGUBL: “What would you bring to the community if you won Miss Gay UK?”


SIAN: “I would bring my personality and my objectives on life. I am a good communicator and express my feelings well. I feel I take other peoples point of view really well and would be a good role model”

MGUBL: “Have you ever made a Christmas dinner?”


SIAN: “Yes I have the full works. I love to cook I think I am a good girlfriend but I have just been dumped. I am too soft I think. But you have to pick up your feet and get on with it”

Sian is free and single. Another incentive for you all to make the pilgrimage to Birmingham.

MGUBL: “What were you in a past life?”

SIAN: “Well I’m not sure, but I would like to hope that I was someone that was remembered.”


MGUBL: “Do you have any phobias?”

SIAN: “Yes spiders, but being in the military you are not really meant to shown any weakness, so you have to suck it up”

MGUBL: “Do you have any special talents?”


SIAN: “I a professional street dancer. I break dance, and I play Hockey for England. I’m in the England squad”


That is impressive. I hated hockey after Michelle Hoyton smashed me in the mouth with her bloody hockey stick. I now have a phobia of hockey playing women called Michelle

MGUBL: “Are you going to win Miss Gay UK?”


SIAN: “I hope so. I would like to. It’s a learning curve anyway so I will just enjoy the night.”

Thanks to Sian for her warmth and sincerity. This woman cooks, so any single women out there looking for a real catch come to Brum and meet her.


Please support Miss Gay UK anyway you can. Leah and Nina deserve all of our praise for the immense task they have taken on. I will be accepting tequilas at the bar from 5pm onwards!

http://www.missgayuk.co.uk/

Miss Gay UK: Interview with Kimberley Sanger.

So, we are into the last furlong before the Miss Gay UK final, taking place in Birmingham this Friday.

Kimberley Sanger, a mere whippersnapper at 18, is the latest soldier to the Interview battlefield. Pat Benatar proclaims that love is a battlefield; I would like to ask Ms Benatar to attend the final, to see that ambition is a battlefield.

I will be accompanied to the final by my nearest and dearest, and they will all be desperate for alcohol, so if anyone wants to buy them a drink….I say, please do, it will save me at least £100.

Kimberley is from the sexy region of Swindon. I had a drunken liaison in Swindon with a married woman called Saskia, so I have nostalgic feelings about the entire county of Wiltshire.

MGUBL: “Why did you enter Miss Gay UK, and how does it feel to be stepping in for the winner?” (Shixin, who won the final, cannot make it now, so 4th place winner Kimberley has picked up the London torch)


KIMBERLEY: “I feel really proud to be representing London, the gay capital of the UK. It’s the biggest honour”


MGUBL: “The London heats were tough. Did you have a special talent to show off?”


KIMBERLEY: “Not really. I have my own special talents. I can cut my own Hair, and everybody else’s. I feel I have small unique talents”

God I need my hair done before the final. My stylist, Edwina, has gone to a health spa for colonic irrigation. Selfish cow!


MGUBL: “Tell me about your job?”

KIMBERLEY: “I am a part-time DJ for a gay venue in Swindon, and I am also a credit controller for Dolby!”


MGUBL: “Who is you’re favourite lesbian icon?”


KIMBERLEY: “Oh that’s got to be Beth Ditto, she fab. She gets naked and gyrates on her microphone stand on stage. I think she’s amazing”

MGUBL: “Talking of naked…I saw you’re Beaver in Diva. How was that photo shoot?”

KIMBERLEY (laughs,) “It was brilliant. It as a nerve-wracking experience. I forgot my robe, so they lent me one that was way too small, it did not even cover my arse. I really enjoyed it. I mean Diva asked so I couldn’t say no could I?”

For all of those leafing quickly through the latest Diva in eager anticipation turn to page 42.

MGUBL: “Do you believe in serendipity and the constant flow of the universe?”


KIMBERLEY: (Laughs,) “Sorry what?”

MGUBL “Fate, you must believe in fate, as it brought you to the Miss Gay UK Final after all?”

KIMBERLEY: “Yes, I do believe in fate?”

MGUBL: “Would you do Kelly Brooke?”


KIMBERLEY: “I have to say I wouldn’t, it’s a personality thing for me, and I would decline”

I would not kick her out of bed for eating cream crackers I can tell you…

MGUBL: “Strictly come dancing or Cirque De Celebrite?”

KIMBERLEY: “Got to be strictly come dancing. I haven’t seen the other one, is it good?”

MGUBL: “No its shite. If you like ex big brother housemates straddling a high wire whilst Ruby Wax has some psychotic episode in the ring wearing a bizarre costume, then it might be for you.”

MGUBL: “What would you bring to the community if you won Miss Gay UK?”

KIMBERLEY: “I think I would try and make being gay more acceptable. The community is too segregated. I would like to make more places gay friendly, so it begins to be classified as normal. Because it is normal to be gay!”

MGUBL: “What were you in a past life?”

KIMBERLEY: “Oh my god I was definitely a man. I think like a man, and I have the brain of a man.”


MGUBL: “Do you have any phobias?”

KIMBERLEY: “Yes, butterflies, oh I hate butterflies. I would rather sit in a bath full of snakes than have a butterfly near me”

MGUBL: “Are you going to win Miss Gay UK?”

KIMBERLEY: “I am (laughs). I would really like to win as I feel I can do really big things for Miss Gay UK. I do hope I win”

Thanks to Kimberley for a great interview. For all of you that are humming and hawing about going to Brum, let me leave this little adage for you.

Life is too short, and there will be wall-to-wall women…


Please support Miss Gay UK anyway, you can. Leah and Nina who are the organisers have been working flat out to make this a great competition.

http://www.missgayuk.co.uk/

Miss Gay UK: Interview with Leah McCullough.

I have been thinking about the universe in the last couple of days. The ebb and flow of human nature, the push and pull of our disquieted lives and came to the following conclusion.

Living in Provence with Nigella would certainly have it pitfalls. I mean yes to wake up alongside the culinary Adonis would be a bonus, but then what if this dream were in fact not what we expect or want it to be?? Maybe Yvette Fielding is more my type?

I mean knocking about an old castle at 3am waiting to be possessed by the ghost of Gwendolyn; a 13th century whore is far more appealing. I offer myself up to be possessed, with Yvette mopping my fevered brow….all she would have to do would be to ditch that full length puffer jacket! I have a phobia of puffer jackets.

Anyway, back to reality and a rather endearing interview with Leah McCullough from Belfast. I am partial to a Northern Irish accent; it could melt me like butter in the slap of a word. Being 32, Leah feels that she has wisdom to share. She also could possibly be a Romany Gypsy in a past incarnation, who we can affectionately call Gypsy Rose Leah.

MGUBL: “Why did you enter Miss Gay UK?”


LEAH: “I saw a poster and I thought I can be Miss Gay UK, it’s like a gay Miss Congeniality, and I love that movie. I was G+T’d up and I thought well I’m gay and I’m from the UK so I’m qualified to enter”

At this point I am all ready smitten with her accent! It is charming.


MGUBL: “What venue was it held at?”


LEAH: “It was held in Belfast at a pub called DuBarry’s. There were 14 contestants and it was a right laugh. We all laughed at lot. I was the granny of the bunch, you know being 32, but I thought ah well I’ve a brass neck on me, so go for it”

For all of us not aware with the Irish colloquialism 'a Brass Neck On me' it means…..she’s got a really big pair of bollocks and isn’t afraid to use em…


MGUBL: “Can you make homemade soda bread?”

LEAH: “Oh my god I can, I fucking can. I make potato bread actually, and I have a couple of secret weapons that I put in there. My friends are banging on my door on a Saturday to get there hands on my bread!”

(My friends are banging on the door to get there hands on my baps, but that’s another story)

MGUBL: “What would you do if you won Miss Gay UK…and how would it change you?”


LEAH: “I don’t think anything could change me, good luck with that (laughs). I think it would enhance my life and my personality, and open doors for me. If I did win I would use my wisdom and make the word lesbian more acceptable. I’d do it with integrity and a pinch of style.”

MGUBL: “How’s the gay scene over in Ireland?”

LEAH: “Improving and we have to thank the older lesbians for that. They have nurtured the gay scene and we can now reap the benefits. The lesbians who are now in there 40’s and 50’s are the ones to thank. Having said that there are no women only bars in Belfast, DuBarrys welcome lesbians with open arms though”.

MGUBL: “I’ve heard that the Irish make fantastic lovers. Can you confirm or deny these allegations?”


LEAH: (Laughs,) “I can neither confirm nor deny, but of course, I can confirm that my fiancé of almost 8 years is fantastic.”

MGUBL: “Have you ever met the Nolan’s?”

LEAH: “Oh my god, yes, I swear to fuck I met Bernie. She was in a pub and had been on loose women talking about giving up smoking, and there she was smoking like 40 tabs one after the other. We went up and said it is cool to see you and you are a liar. She was lovely spent time talking to us.”


MGUBL: “Who would be your ideal woman to have a date with?”

LEAH: “Okay this is fantasy date right? Then it would have to be Annie Lennox. She is strong and can belt out a tune. I’d cook and clean for her (laughs) the word cool doesn’t even come close to encapsulating who she is.”

MGUBL: “What do you think the lesbian community needs to change?”

LEAH: “In think it’s a bit of an inner circle, very insular. I can accuse myself of the same thing. Its small community but needs to be more vocal. We need to gay up the world, so that in future generations it will be more acceptable. I have brilliant family who are really proud of who I am.”

MGUBL: “James Joyce or WB Yeats?”

LEAH: “Oh you’re an evil woman. I am going to have to say both. Make a poet sandwich of them both.”

MGUBL: “Do you have any phobias?”

LEAH: “Oh my god how long have you got? Cockroaches and flying cockroaches. Oh and brass bands, I literally crumple into a heap when I hear a brass band…crawling I am on hands and knees. Yes and Swing chairs at the funfair, there’s something so wrong about those!”

I thought my list of phobias was extensive!

MGUBL: “What will be you’re killer tactic for the final?”

LEAH: “I’m going to try and make everyone laugh. I love to see people laughing. I am a right idiot I must say. Therefore, if I make people laugh then I have achieved something. I’ve got twenty friends coming over with me, and they are loud, so you will definitely hear them.”

MGUBL: “If you won what would you do with you’re title?”

LEAH: “I would promote myself and big up my profile so I could make a positive change to gay people. My girlfriend had a dream that I ended up on the L Word, but I wasn’t allowed to kiss Shane or Pappi.”

Am I the only lesbian on the planet who just does not get the Shane thing? I mean she looks like my nephew for Christ’s sake!

MGUBL: “Choose between Winona Ryder and Julia Roberts?”

LEAH: “Julia Roberts If I had to. I mean Winona ruined little women for me, it was all so wrong, and then the whole shoplifting scandal, so Julia. But don’t you think Julia Roberts has too many teeth, she has like 30 teeth on the top set alone!”

At this point, I tell Leah that I own a free Winona t-shirt and that I might have to bring it to Birmingham. Winona was not shoplifting exactly, but the Percadin had made her forget to pay for the luxury items….can happen to us all!

MGUBL: “What would you have been in a past life?”

LEAH: “Oh god, I’m all into this stuff. I think I was definitely a Romany Gypsy. I often get a sense of Déjà vu. I often get a sense of Déjà vu. So definitely a Romany Gypsy”

My warm thanks go out to Leah, who had me in stitches. I am looking forward to meeting the gang of twenty Irish women in Birmingham. They are also going to buy me tequila! I have ordered the ambulance and stomach pump in advance.

Please support Miss Gay UK anyway, you can.

http://www.missgayuk.co.uk/

Miss Gay UK: Interview with Andrea Kenny

You will all be happy to know that my man flu is on the wane. Well certain people I know were secretly hoping that the strain of flu I had, would metastasize into a vile disease, which would incapacitate my vocal cords forever! They are well and truly out of my will now.

My collection of Victorian vibrators will have to find a new home after my passing!

My next victim to enter the seedy world of the Miss Gay UK interview arena is Andrea Kenny.

She hails from Brighton and is a reincarnation, we think, of Janis Joplin. She also has a bunch of groupies from Kent that are following her music career with keen eyes, and freshly laundered undercrackers that they throw at her on stage.

Well they do not but it sounds more rock and roll. Not bad though for a 26 year old to have groupies at all. She also suffers from a phobia of gubbins, those errant bits of crumb/richtea/disgestive/tobacco bits that end up in the bed. Gubbins is a technical term for these nasty rogue pieces of crap.

MGUBL: “How did your journey into Miss Gay UK transpire?”

ANDREA: “Well, I actually live at the Marlborough in Brighton and they hosted the event, so really I did it for a bit of a laugh. My girlfriend chickened out, so I went ahead anyway.”

MGUBL: “What do you think was the one thing that got you into the final?”

ANDREA: “To be honest I think it was my answer to the question they gave me- would winning Miss Gay UK change you? - My answer was NO!”

A one-word answer girl, my kind of chick. There is a gravelly smoothness to her voice, which is actually very soothing. I might have to hire her to help me with my hypnosis! I am planning on taking over the world via hypnotic induction. It is a five-year plan.

MGUBL: “How many tattoos do you have?”

ANDREA: “I have 15 tattoos and (at this point I hear her counting) 5 piercings”

She does tell me the names of the piercings but they sound like foreign cities or karma sutra sex positions! I know one called Ampallang but this knowledge came from a rather drunken night in the annals of backstreet Soho, and my subconscious mind has thankfully blocked this out!

MGUBL: “Tell me about your true passion your music?”

ANDREA: “I’m a singer/songwriter, and have been for ten years. I a resident artist at the Marlborough, and play all around the country. I played at Brighton pride and have a CD out called Andrea Kenny Procrastination. Unfortunately, they have all sold out so I am just waiting for more to come in. I really want to break into the mainstream consciousness.


MGUBL: “What type of music do you play?”

ANDREA: “It’s Bluesy Acoustic inspired by the likes of Janis Joplin and KT Tunstall.”

For all of you interested in hearing Andrea Kenny’s music go to her myspace page and prepare to be inspired.

www.myspace.com/andreakennymusic


MGUBL: “Who is you’re favourite lesbian Icon, Angelina and KD don’t count?”

ANDREA: “I would have to say Janis Joplin, cos she liked the ladies too, and also James Dean. I don’t tend to view people as lesbian or heterosexual, I just like people”

I wonder if, in fact, James Dean was a lesbian trapped in mans body, not unlike Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen.

MGUBL “X-Files or Star Trek?”

ANDREA: “It’s got to be Star Trek I was raised on Star Trek. I used to sit on my dad’s knee a lot and watch it”

MGUKBL: “Were you possibly breastfed on Star Trek?”

ANDREA: Laughs, “No because that would mean that my dad would have had to have breasts”

I need to interject now and put a disclaimer that Andrea’s father does not have, nor has ever had man boobs.Also no animals were hurt in the writing of this blog.

MGUBL: “Would you do Gillian Anderson, pre bleak house of course?”

ANDREA: “Well she was hot in the X-Files, but she’s not really my cup of tea to be honest.”

MGUBL “If you could be on any reality TV show, which would you pick and why?”

ANDREA: “It would have to be shipwrecked, purely because of the beauty of the location. I would never want to go on Big Brother or the X-Factor. I think the X Factor would be a nail in the coffin of any music career.”


MGUBL: “What would you bring to the community if you won Miss Gay UK?”

ANDREA: “I would bring honesty and frankness and I would also campaign for cleaner ladies toilets at a certain Brighton bar that shall remain nameless”

As a side note, Andrea defaced her own picture in Brighton before anyone else could. She drew a willy on her own forehead. A pre-emptive willy if you will.

MGUBL: “Have you ever cooked a baked Alaska?”

ANDREA: “No, but I do love meringue. I don’t bake cakes either I’m afraid”

(Nigella Lawson bakes a decent Alaska. Oh how I would sell my soul to the devil to see her eating that dressed in a nun’s habit.)

MGUBL “What do you believe you might have been in a past life?”

ANDREA: “I do believe in past lives, I would have to say like a big cat or tiger, or a bug. I have a strong affiliation with bugs. I like to rescue them and bring them home.”

MGUBL “Anything you want to add, and any special talents?”

ANDREA: “Well I broke my elbow when I was eight, and can rotate it like 90 degrees, and I have a very long tongue (we both laugh). Also and most importantly, I would like to get the exposure of Miss Gay UK out there. It should be on a par with the popularity of Mr Gay UK. I think we, as contestants, are responsible to getting this wonderful event publicised. I would like to see it get lots more support.”

Well said Andrea! Miss Gay UK are working exceedingly hard to get this into the public eye. Please support this event as much as you can. Thanks to the amazing Miss Kenny who was a pleasure to talk to.

Stay tuned for the next interview with Miss Gay Manchester.

Miss Gay UK: Interview with Alex Hartley

I am afraid I have been rather quiet of late. I have been laid low with a virulent strain of Man Flu and have been unable to muster the strength to reach the keyboard! Let me tell you, lemsip and night nurse should never be taken together!

I am back now with the belated interview with Miss Gay UK’s East Midlands winner Alex Hartley. Not to be mistaken with Hartley the Hare from Pipkins. I had a disturbing dream about Pig from Pipkins the other night, he came up to me with two massive cream buns in a holster and said, “It’s never too late to sniff the wind of freedom” I awoke in a pool of sweat. I fear the Man Flu may have rendered me clinically insane.

Anyway, Miss Gay UK’s heat winner Alex Hartley 23 is passionate about charity work and her job as a youth worker. She also is a very apt at poi spinning (poi spinning is NOT a device used to stimulate the clitoris as I thought but a Maori fire juggling tradition)

MGUBL: “Why did you decide to enter Miss Gay UK?”

ALEX: “To be honest at first I did it for a bit of a laugh, friends persuaded me to enter, but when I found out it was going to be a charitable event I really wanted to take it seriously”

MGUBL: ““What was your competition like?”

ALEX: “God, I was really nervous. It was a nerve-racking experience. We were whittled down to the last ten, and we had to have our interviews with the judges in private, as there was a problem with the PA system that night. The other girls were lovely. I think everyone was nervous.

MGUBL: “Any secret weapons you are going to use to try and win Miss Gay UK?” (I said this in a menacing secret agent voice)

ALEX: “I’m not really a game player to be honest and I don’t have any tactics. If I did win I think it would be a compliment to me being just an average lesbian”

(I feel that there are no run of the mill lesbians in this world. I am looking for one so I can tick it off on my facebook things to do before I die list)

MGUBL: “What women do you truly admire?”

ALEX: “I am definitely going to have to say Jane Tomlinson. She was such an amazing women and such an inspiration to me. She came from the same area that my parents are from so I heard a lot about her from the local news. She did so many things, like riding across the US after being told she had only 7 months to live and ending up living 8 years longer. She is truly inspirational. Every breath of her life was devoted to her family and her fight against cancer. She has really inspired me in my own life.” http://www.janesappeal.com/


MGUBL: “Have you any special talents” (For example, impersonating a giraffe or managing to insert a marrow sideways up your bum?”)

ALEX: “Hmm, well I have double jointed eyes and can move them independently and I do poi spinning. Poi spinning is fire juggling, you have two chains attached to a Kevlar straps and you can do tricks. I can also juggle.

For all of you wondering what poi spinning is go to http://www.homeofpoi.com/ as I am sure my explanation of it is sorely lacking. This is due to the fact I am writing under the influence of lemsip.

MGUBL: “When you’re not poi spinning or looking in two directions at one time, what else do you do?”

ALEX: “I am a youth worker in an underprivileged area. We deal with young offenders and people excluded from the community. I also worked with STRIDE clubs and worked for the LBGT youth club. I am passionate about my job and love what I do.”

MGUBL “Judge Judy or Boston Legal?”

ALEX: laughs “Judge Judy if I had to choose, I like how she shouts at everyone”

I have to confess I would choose Judy Scheindlin myself; there is something strangely erotic about her demeanour.

MGUBL “What have you been in a past life?”

ALEX: “I think I must have been a roamer, someone who moved around a lot. I have a fear of missing out on life. Perhaps I was a bird as I imagine I would have flown everywhere, and I wouldn’t leave a carbon footprint.”

MGUBL: “Any phobias you would like to share with us?”

ALEX: Laughs, “Not really I’m afraid. The only phobia I have is of spiders. I can’t stand spiders.”

I am tempted to tell her of my litany of phobias, like vomit and people eating ice-cream cones, but I stay stum.

MGUBL: “Have you seen the film Pay It Forward? I am starting a Gay Pay It Forward campaign. How would you pay it forward?”

ALEX: “God I loved that film, it really made me cry. I think it would have to be something quite simple like being a slave for someone for a day(not in the kinky way!!!) and doing all their chores so that they have time to spend on themselves(or spend family time)I think that its the little things that make a difference.”

MGUBL “Anything else you would like to say in regards to the lesbian community or life in general?”

ALEX: “I think there is more to life than being a lesbian. People are too narrow-minded in this world, and sometimes fail to see other people’s opinion. I am into exploring life in some many different ways and am fascinated by other people. If someone asks, are you rich? I think there are many ways to be rich. Love can make you rich.

We were struggling to look for a word about people who are unable to see other people’s lives and she asked me to pick a word. I think the right word for ignorant people is MYOPIC

I want to thank Alex for her interview, and her honesty and integrity. She is passionate about charities and her work!

My next interview will be posted shortly. Miss Gay UK organisers have asked if anyone can suggest a charity. Woman’s Aid have declined to be the designated charity due to the fact that it is a beauty pageant ( even though they have been a sponsored charity for Miss UK) So please put forward any suggestions for charities in keeping with the ethos of Miss Gay UK.

I must go now and extract a rather large marrow from my behind, as its making sitting rather awkward

MGUBL.

Big Brother's Big Lesbian: Interview with Adele Roberts

BBBL got to speak with Adele Roberts, former housemate on BB3, who went back into the house the other day to do the time travel task with Brain and Kara-Louise. She was joined by Alex Sibley another BB3 housemate and they had to do a sport challenge against Brian and Kara-Louise; needless to say, they won!

Brian, an avid BB watcher, was consumed with excitement when he realised they had travelled back to 2002, and had to enter the recreated “Rich side/Poor side” house. When Adele and Alex walked in….he thought Christmas and Easter had all come at once.

Adele was the first housemate to be booed on her eviction night, and we get down and dirty to exhume the truth about her BB3 experience, and to find out what’s she doing now!!

BBBL: “Firstly, how did it feel to be back in the BB house after five years?”

Adele: “Initially I was very worried about doing it. BB emailed me at work and I had to think about the ramifications of accepting, so I didn’t get back to them straight away. Instead I decided to call my mum who said basically, just do it and maybe lay some of those demons to rest!”

BBBL: “Okay, let’s talk about those demons. Did you regret your BB experience and did it change you?”

Adele: “I don’t regret going in as it has opened up some fantastic opportunities for me with my radio show. It definitely made me a better person and brought me a lot closer to my family, although I feel I could have made better choices. I was naive as to what it all entailed.”

BBBL: “Was it good to see Alex again?”

Adele: “Oh yes it was really good, I haven’t seen or spoken to him since 2002, but it felt like old times.”

BBBL: “Is Brian really that excitable?”

Adele (laughing): “Yes, and then some. There was a lot of footage they didn’t show and he was like that most of the time. Lovely guy.”

BBBL: “Would you ever consider doing BB again, like maybe CBB?”

Adele: “No, I don’t think there is any need to go back to living in that house, I think once you’ve done it, you’ve done your time.”

BBBL: “Can I ask about the famous booing on your eviction exit, how that really felt at the time?”

Adele: “Well, I was warned that it might happen by the BB producers, and we are told its all just pantomime, so not to worry about it, but of course it does affect you. I just couldn’t wait to get into the studio for my interview with Davina, as I couldn’t understand why I was being booed. I wanted to know why? I was totally perplexed by the whole thing” (…So was I, as I thought Adele hadn’t done anything wrong)

BBBL: “Ohh, talking of Davina, is she nice?”

Adele: “Yes, she’s lovely. She has two persona's though: the real Davina and the BB Davina.”

BBBL: “What good has come out of your BB experience?”

Adele: “The best thing of course is my Radio show on Rock FM; I have got to meet some amazing people like 50 cent, Akon, The Pussycat Dolls (we both jointly laugh at this point), Nelly Furtado and Fergie.”

BBBL: “Who’s Fergie?” (I was thinking the Duchess of York!)

Adele: “Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas, they are just a few off the top of my head”

(…I am now thinking my music knowledge is seriously lacking!)

BBBL: “I have to ask, do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend?”

Adele: (laughing): “Yes, I have a girlfriend.” (…Sorry Cow, I did ask about you and her hooking up but her girlfriend wouldn’t like it!)

BBBL: “What are your views on CBB last year and all the controversy?”

Adele: “To be honest I wasn’t watching it, but when I heard about what was going on I tuned in. I saw the bullying scene, and it made me feel physically sick, I personally don’t think BB should have shown all that footage, it wasn’t necessary, I felt like it was going to exacerbate the situation. I know Jade got her come uppance and all, but it was just uncomfortable viewing.”

BBBL sneaks in cheeky question here: “If you go to the BB after party can I come as your date?”

Adele (laughing): “I think my girlfriend might have something to say about that! I might be DJing at the after party though, and no one knows this yet, so that’s an exclusive for you! I will see if I can get you in. I’ll see what I can do.”

BBBL: “Ah thanks, I need some pictures for my blog and I secretly wish to see the
Luscious Davina!”

BBBL: “I read that your BB experiences affected your family, how so?”

Adele: “No-one knew that I was going into the BB house, only my mum and I sort of came out in there, by my own accord of course; but my family had to deal with all of the coming out issues without me. I also didn’t fully realise that I was going to be representing the Black/Mixed race and gay community, and feel I could have handled that responsibility better. I just thought naively that it wouldn’t have had an impact, but it did, that’s my only thing that my family had to suffer because of me being in the house.”


BBBL: “Can you tell me about the radio station you work for Rock FM, and what you do there, apart from meeting famous people?”

Adele: “ Yes, I do two shows a week, one on Friday night, ‘Smooth Grooves’ from 10.00 pm to 2.00 am and Sunday breakfast from 6.00 am to 10.00am.

You can find out exactly what she’s doing on the radio station by following the link here, included is also her MY SPACE page.

http://www.rockfm.co.uk/showdj.asp?djid=28241

Thanks Adele for the interview and for being so courteous and open, what a refreshing change to speak to someone in the public eye who is just normal, and not full of their own self importance. I think we can safely say the demons are now well and truly buried and any ghosts of BB past can be exorcised. Good Luck Adele and maybe you can teach me about Smooth Grooves, as I obviously don’t have a clue!

Big Brother's Big Lesbian: Past, present and future.

NEWSFLASH..Amy, Kara-Louise , Jonty and The Twins face the public vote on Friday!

So, we are going back to the future. The twin hologram projection unit has been projecting the image of the twins into the BB house for almost 70 days, and they went back to day 11 in the BB space-time continuum machine, which by the looks of it was made by viewers of Blue Peter. You could distinctly see the sticky back plastic holding the “Time Lever” onto the cardboard box display unit.

They were given an ultimatum. Break your twin bond, and be individuals, or go up as one entity, and face the public vote? Of course, they decided to be one entity, from now on Samanda will be known simply as The Twin.

With back to the future theme strongly rampaging though the weekly shopping task, I need to ask you this.


Has Tracey gone back to the future?



The resemblance is uncanny isn’t it? Give her a DeLorean and a dodgy 1980’s moralistic script, and we would be none the wiser. I am sure I saw Michael J Fox in the garden, by the smoking area on a hover board.

I do feel us, as viewers; have gone back to the future to Celebrity Big Brother last year and “chicken-gate”.

Although this time its “nut-roast gate”. I actually laughed for the first time in the whole series, at the sight of Kara-Louise scrapping Carole’s precious nut roast out of the tepid, uncooked Chicken, and putting it back into the bowl.
I’m sure I heard Jonty remark, “Hmmm, this nut roast is good, although it does have a piquancy of raw chicken anus to it”

I would certainly not eat the now, Ecoli infested, nut roast. Maybe Carole will shed a few pounds from salmonella poisoning. I have been an avid fan of Carole, but did feel a pang of sadist pleasure when we all knew they were going to cook the roast without her consent!

I could understand such fear from the housemates if they had, oh, I do not know, killed someone, or set the kitchen on fire. How dare they cook a meal without Eva Braun looking on? They are so selfish!

Brian and Kara-Louise went back to 2002 to go head to head with ex-housemates Alex and Adele. I will keep you posted about information I have in regards to one of those ex-housemates!

We also witnessed Ziggy, Carole, Gerry and Doc Emmet Brown in the year 1847. I feel they should have made them test out Victoria sex toys, or perhaps role-play the seedy underworld of Victorian prostitution.

Instead, they bobbed for apples and shined shoes! Oh, how I would have paid too see Tracey hooked up to the first vibrator, which was developed by an American physician, George Taylor, M.D. It was steam powered and used to treat “Female Hysteria”.

Good job Chanelle has left the house then. GT would have had her hooked up for days to cure her hysteria. Hysteria is Greek for “suffering uterus”. I am sure suffering uterus would have been the last thing on your mind after 10 minutes of steam-powered vibration.
Moreover, what did the Victorians ever do for us eh! I am sure Robert Louis Stevenson would not have been able to create a steam-powered engine powerful enough for Carole!

Madame Du Pravee in line with this week’s task has astrally projected into the future and seen glimpses of what the housemates will be doing after BB.

Brian will win, and will enter Mensa. The twins will do a commercial for double mint gum, and replace those American twins in the ra ra skirts.
Ziggy will marry Chanelle, have a sizzling football career, yet during a vital England match, will be sent off, and we will not get through to the world cup. They will have three kids called Hammersmith, Kew and Ealing Broadway.
Gerry will do stints at GAY with his museum artifact tour. That is all she got, due to time pressures from her agent.

I will leave you this this inspiring quote. Roads? Where we're going we don't need roads.

Big Brother's Big Lesbian: The Half-Wit house of horrors.

NEWSFLASH: Chanelle has left the BB house. Will it be for good this time?

Well, you go away for a few days R&R, and come back to all hell breaking loose in the BB house.

Mr X and I enjoyed our crop circle extravaganza in Wiltshire. Rumour had it that a new crop formation appeared on Friday morning, we rushed there to see it, and found the crop lay extraordinary, it was at least 200 foot in diameter, but without GPS we couldn’t ascertain what it looked like, so we waited for the aerial photographs to come in.
I was thunderstruck by the image when I saw it. It was a circular formation with three words on the inside “Get Charley Out”. Seems as though even our alien cousins wanted to see the back of her! I wonder how much a text to evict would be from another planet.

Therefore, with Charley gone, and Chanelle almost gone, but awaiting psychological profiling, it has been a right old carry on! I am almost expecting to see Hattie Jacques enter the house dressed in a matron’s uniform, closely followed by Sid James!

Madame Du Pravee called me whilst I was in a beautiful crop formation near West Kennet Long barrow to tell me that Hattie Jacques and Sid James had come through to her requesting the film rights to Carry on up the BB house. It is still in negotiation stage. Seems, as though the spirit world cannot decide on who will play the part that Barbara Windsor usually plays, it is a toss up between Amanda and Gerry.

So Charley was booted, probably signed up by an agent on the way to her interview with Davina, we will have to endure her on everything now! I have the pleasure of being in the BBBM studio on Tuesday with her there…I heard her eviction by sheer coincidence. The lesbian trio next to my tent had bought a portable TV, and in between, their chanting of “get Charley out”, and coughing fits from the Rothmans cigarettes they were smoking three at a time it was almost audible!

I am sure HEAT and OKAY magazines will run a story on her every five minutes. Charley’s book “Autobiography of a Narcissist” will be in shops for the launch of the BB8 housemate road show. This will highlight the talents of the BB housemates. Carol will be signed up as the new face of Persil, and will wash her underpants for the tour until the are gleaming. Look no stains. Poor old Carole reduced to a human cleaning machine! Carole's boobs have made it into the Barnes Wallis Hall of Fame thanks to this blog. Carole's boobies, I salute you both!

Now, what will replace Charley? Well the half-wit house is full to brimming with more of the country’s elite. Jonty, who is clearly not the full box of chocolates, not even the first layer, the glamour model called Amy (is that even worthy of being called a vocation?) should be called Aimless and sent back to the nearest pole dancing club in Croydon.

Then we have the self-confessed pagan called David, who being Pagan myself, am slightly concerned about his credentials! I did however, love his kilt and boots, but was perturbed by the David Bowie/Clockwork Orange eye makeup. Shanessa the blonde, and I use that term in its loosest form possible, entered the house wearing what looked like a swimsuit! I am not apposed to the new fashion of Muffin Topping, but bless her, if she had been swimming in the sea I fear she might have been harpooned by Japanese fisherman! She seems a bit low rent in my opinion, but BB is not renowned for their stellar choices in housemates are they?

The other two are not even worthy of mention, as I cannot even remember their names. Answers of a postcard please to Who Really Gives a Shit, Elstree, Borehamwood.

I have spent the last days in the bosom of Mother Earth, cradled in the arms of Gaia, and found watching BB again, a bit disorientating. Which half-wits will they ask to join the full-wits in the main house I wonder?

Madame Du Pravee is off to Kidderminster for the annual white witch convention, and has promised to bring me back a signed copy of Shabnam’s new book “My life as a BB alien, and other stories that are far too long to go into as I am far too busy opening nightclubs in Streatham”

Until later, I will leave you with a Native American adage I picked up on my travels. “You do not need your eyes to see the world around you, but a sense of freedom, and a sense of honour” Thank you for that Sitting-on-Stump-thinking I have always remembered it, and our time in the sweat lodge with great nostalgia!

BBBL