Movie Monday: Two Fathers!

Aren't little Dutch kids well adjusted?

The annual Kinderen voor Kinderen concert and album features songs written based on ideas submitted by the children who sing them.

And this boy is singing about his two dads. On mainstream TV. And other children are joining in.

Makes yah wanna move there doesn't it?

Flirty Thursday: Donna does dating

If you've got March's DIVA then you've probably already spat your coffee all over your cat reading of Donna McPhail's first adventures in online dating.

Undeterred, I start choosing the option ‘other’, just to be awkward. Suddenly, I’m face to face with one of life’s most complex questions – ‘What are you looking for?’ (Well, unless you’re Decartes that’s where you need the multiple-choice option, surely?) I mumbled something vague like ‘frottage’ (which I thought was something disgusting, but which turns out to be a bit of dry-humping), and then sat back on my largely self-satisfied backside and waited for the messages to come flooding in.

Is it just me, or is it suddenly socially unacceptable, if single, not to have a profile on an internet dating site? Whether it's Pink Sofa or gaydarGirls, true love (or a bit of 'frottage' if you prefer) is only 250 words away. Apparently this is the optimum length for a profile - less says you're hiding something, more suggests you're looking for free therapy. The concept of hanging around in bars waiting to bump into someone who doesn't repel you is seeming like rather hard work ... you can't even screen out the Leos before you start talking.

Wwweird Wednesday: Mother's day gifts

Crikey, there's barely any time left til Mother's day, and what little there is is already earmarked for working, drinking and watching Hollyoaks with a hangover ...

Fear not. DIVAblog has scoured the web to bring you two suitably unsuitable gift options.

Option 1 - If you are officially 'cash poor, time rich' then win extra brownie points with this homemade bouquet of flowers brought to you by tamponcrafts.com.



Option 2 - If a marketing manager would class you as 'cash rich, time poor' then invest for your own future (you'll inherit it one day) with a detailed depiction of the male human form from Queer art gallery howcampisthat.com.

Failing those, there's still time for a forever-friends card and a bunch of wilting carnations from the BP Garage round the corner.

Now That's What We Call A Lesbian Playlist!

Poor Marlene Bielak: after months of bullying at the hands of a colleague who disapproved of her homosexuality, the lesbian shop assistant is in line for more than £120,000. Bielak, 34, suffered months of bullying before she left the Next store in St Helens, Merseyside, traumatized by Katrina Davies. Davies, 27, would constantly play a Morrissey song called All The Lazy Dykes every time Miss Bielak came into the stockroom at the store where they worked. Matters came to a head when an argument broke out between the two women. Mrs Davies, a practising Jehovah's Witness, pushed Miss Bielak and started shouting and swearing at her, calling her a '******* dyke'.

If she’d done her homework, the St Helens zealot could have had some fun with the plethora of Sapphic songs on offer. Instead of the looped daily drone from the original Manchester miserablist, DIVA feels that Mrs Davies missed her opportunity to create the ultimate lesbian compilation: NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL LESBIAN HITS. To this end, we’d like to suggest a few items for the track listing.

The Gossip - Standing in the way of control (listen on iTunes)
Not a track that might immediately come to Katrina’s mind but one she’d do well to study. This pop anthem, destined to become THE protest song of the 21st century (say goodbye to ‘We will overcome’) rants against the homophobia of George Bush’s Republicans.

Janis Ian - Getting Over You (listen on iTunes)
Now that Katrina no longer has Marlene to abuse, she may well soon find herself humming along to the lyrics of Ian’s break-up classic as she croons: ‘And what will I do with my mornings?’

Queen of Japan - I was made for Loving You (listen on iTunes)
What if Katrina was a lady-lover after all? She may realize - with the help of this electro remake of the KISS classic - that her rage was in fact suppressed desire for Marlene.

Kd lang - Dreams of the Everyday Housewife (listen on iTunes)
When kd sang the Glenn Campbell classic about her dream girl she accidentally on purpose forgot to change the pronouns. It’s the perfect lesbian family song, innit? Awww.

Saltpeter - I’m not gay (watch on mySpace)
Salena Godden is the queer Lily Allen. This track by new kid on the block might suit any would-be gays who want to explore their inner gay girl. Ooh we can just picture it down the boozer. Altogether now. ‘We’re not gay but we’ll snog you anyway. We’ve had ten beers and we’re feeling quite queer.’