Movie Monday: Fat Rant

Stuff the much-hyped "Size Zero Debate" – let's hear it from the fat girls, for a change.

And big up video-maker Joy Nash for her well-made points.

If there were more inspiring women like her on our TV screens, maybe teenaged girls would have something positive to aspire to, instead of Nicole Ritchie thinness.

Movie Monday: Two Fathers!

Aren't little Dutch kids well adjusted?

The annual Kinderen voor Kinderen concert and album features songs written based on ideas submitted by the children who sing them.

And this boy is singing about his two dads. On mainstream TV. And other children are joining in.

Makes yah wanna move there doesn't it?

Movie Monday: How to shower like a dyke?

Apparently this video has been watched no less than 1.6 million times. Wow. It begs the question though: how do you shower like a dyke? (Tip: you won't find an appropriate answer on google... or youtube ... ahem).

Personally, my bathing routine falls somewhere between straight boy and straight girl. I can accurately hit a bath mat, and I only require one bathing product, which costs less than £2.

Perhaps accurately placing yourself on the butch/femme spectrum no longer requires a complicated range of questions about motorcycle parts and cut of underwear - we could cut it right down to 2 questions: how many items do you require in the shower, and what is the total value of those items?

We don't have a shower usable in the shack at the mo (strictly summer only as it's virtually out-doors and pretty much cold). We have a nice 60s bath though.

This morning's bath routine went something like:

• Make a hot water bottle and wrap bath towel around it to compensate for lack of heating in the shack.
• Run bath.
• Get in bath.
• Swim around being very grateful to be so small and feeling sorry for normal sized people who can't entirely float in a standard size bath.
• Wash with bath stuff (only have one bottle: Tesco bedtime baby bath with lavendar)
• Wonder why there are so many bottles round the bath and remember that a straight girl has moved in.
• Wash hair with same bath stuff - very small amount due to grade 4 buzz cut.
• Shave armpits (every day, can't bear the feeling of not doing it).
• Hear dog scratching at the door to be let in.
• Stand up, grab towel, which is big, and dip one corner in the bath water. Always.
• Dry hair (1 second)
• Wrap towel around me.
• Run to back door to let dog in.
• Follow dog into bedroom, picking up dog-mud on feet as I go.
• Find cat sitting on my laptop watching youTube.
• Take picture on camera phone.
• Send to friend.
• Realise I have dripped all over the bed.
• Get dried.
• Get paranoid about lack of curtains despite living in the middle of nowhere.
• Dress quickly despite not being properly dry.
• Feel stupid for being paranoid. And damp.

Et tu?