Miss Gay UK: Interview with Alex Hartley

I am afraid I have been rather quiet of late. I have been laid low with a virulent strain of Man Flu and have been unable to muster the strength to reach the keyboard! Let me tell you, lemsip and night nurse should never be taken together!

I am back now with the belated interview with Miss Gay UK’s East Midlands winner Alex Hartley. Not to be mistaken with Hartley the Hare from Pipkins. I had a disturbing dream about Pig from Pipkins the other night, he came up to me with two massive cream buns in a holster and said, “It’s never too late to sniff the wind of freedom” I awoke in a pool of sweat. I fear the Man Flu may have rendered me clinically insane.

Anyway, Miss Gay UK’s heat winner Alex Hartley 23 is passionate about charity work and her job as a youth worker. She also is a very apt at poi spinning (poi spinning is NOT a device used to stimulate the clitoris as I thought but a Maori fire juggling tradition)

MGUBL: “Why did you decide to enter Miss Gay UK?”

ALEX: “To be honest at first I did it for a bit of a laugh, friends persuaded me to enter, but when I found out it was going to be a charitable event I really wanted to take it seriously”

MGUBL: ““What was your competition like?”

ALEX: “God, I was really nervous. It was a nerve-racking experience. We were whittled down to the last ten, and we had to have our interviews with the judges in private, as there was a problem with the PA system that night. The other girls were lovely. I think everyone was nervous.

MGUBL: “Any secret weapons you are going to use to try and win Miss Gay UK?” (I said this in a menacing secret agent voice)

ALEX: “I’m not really a game player to be honest and I don’t have any tactics. If I did win I think it would be a compliment to me being just an average lesbian”

(I feel that there are no run of the mill lesbians in this world. I am looking for one so I can tick it off on my facebook things to do before I die list)

MGUBL: “What women do you truly admire?”

ALEX: “I am definitely going to have to say Jane Tomlinson. She was such an amazing women and such an inspiration to me. She came from the same area that my parents are from so I heard a lot about her from the local news. She did so many things, like riding across the US after being told she had only 7 months to live and ending up living 8 years longer. She is truly inspirational. Every breath of her life was devoted to her family and her fight against cancer. She has really inspired me in my own life.” http://www.janesappeal.com/


MGUBL: “Have you any special talents” (For example, impersonating a giraffe or managing to insert a marrow sideways up your bum?”)

ALEX: “Hmm, well I have double jointed eyes and can move them independently and I do poi spinning. Poi spinning is fire juggling, you have two chains attached to a Kevlar straps and you can do tricks. I can also juggle.

For all of you wondering what poi spinning is go to http://www.homeofpoi.com/ as I am sure my explanation of it is sorely lacking. This is due to the fact I am writing under the influence of lemsip.

MGUBL: “When you’re not poi spinning or looking in two directions at one time, what else do you do?”

ALEX: “I am a youth worker in an underprivileged area. We deal with young offenders and people excluded from the community. I also worked with STRIDE clubs and worked for the LBGT youth club. I am passionate about my job and love what I do.”

MGUBL “Judge Judy or Boston Legal?”

ALEX: laughs “Judge Judy if I had to choose, I like how she shouts at everyone”

I have to confess I would choose Judy Scheindlin myself; there is something strangely erotic about her demeanour.

MGUBL “What have you been in a past life?”

ALEX: “I think I must have been a roamer, someone who moved around a lot. I have a fear of missing out on life. Perhaps I was a bird as I imagine I would have flown everywhere, and I wouldn’t leave a carbon footprint.”

MGUBL: “Any phobias you would like to share with us?”

ALEX: Laughs, “Not really I’m afraid. The only phobia I have is of spiders. I can’t stand spiders.”

I am tempted to tell her of my litany of phobias, like vomit and people eating ice-cream cones, but I stay stum.

MGUBL: “Have you seen the film Pay It Forward? I am starting a Gay Pay It Forward campaign. How would you pay it forward?”

ALEX: “God I loved that film, it really made me cry. I think it would have to be something quite simple like being a slave for someone for a day(not in the kinky way!!!) and doing all their chores so that they have time to spend on themselves(or spend family time)I think that its the little things that make a difference.”

MGUBL “Anything else you would like to say in regards to the lesbian community or life in general?”

ALEX: “I think there is more to life than being a lesbian. People are too narrow-minded in this world, and sometimes fail to see other people’s opinion. I am into exploring life in some many different ways and am fascinated by other people. If someone asks, are you rich? I think there are many ways to be rich. Love can make you rich.

We were struggling to look for a word about people who are unable to see other people’s lives and she asked me to pick a word. I think the right word for ignorant people is MYOPIC

I want to thank Alex for her interview, and her honesty and integrity. She is passionate about charities and her work!

My next interview will be posted shortly. Miss Gay UK organisers have asked if anyone can suggest a charity. Woman’s Aid have declined to be the designated charity due to the fact that it is a beauty pageant ( even though they have been a sponsored charity for Miss UK) So please put forward any suggestions for charities in keeping with the ethos of Miss Gay UK.

I must go now and extract a rather large marrow from my behind, as its making sitting rather awkward

MGUBL.