Newsflash...Looks like its Tracey versus Charley for the Friday night eviction.
I am still reeling from being “poohed” and Mr X, (who suddenly seems to have appeared on BBLB, as the insider! hmmmmm) tells me I should ask Endemol for counselling. Chanelle has had two heavy bouts of counselling, after Charley’s return to the house!
Poor old Chanelle, not bad enough that she has to be fondled in the shower by Cliff Richard. Who saw that look on Ziggy’s face when he got Chanelle against the wall of the shower, it was like the Rat Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (google anon)
The Rat( child) catcher gave me nightmares as a child. I now have an unhealthy phobia of lollipops, especially the swirled red and white ones!
I half expected Benny Hill to appear and make her into a life sized wind up toy, and have her boing out from her life sized box with Tracey type make up on.
Nicky has left the BB asylum with her tail between her legs. She looked like a deer in headlights as the BB door rattled open, and she was blasted with a cacophony of boos. She kept up her miserable façade until the end though. 10 points for consistency.
Davina was a little terse, must be from the effort of having to jet over to Elstree every Friday from her Villa in the South of France. Gwendy the Bendy who is a contortionist performer from Cirque de Soilei rang to tell me that she was moonlighting as a cleaner, and cleans Davina’s home on a Tuesday and Friday.
It seems that being able to wrap your legs round the back of your head into the Pretzel position, does not pay the rent. Between you, and me she did say that Davina is partial to the leather thong. Gwendy the Bendy has promised me that she will have a root around to see what she can find!
Charley is up to her old tricks again. Viewers complaining about her comment to Gerry, and inferring that he was a paedophile, for enjoying sex with 15-year-old boys, have rattled Ofcom this morning! Gerry denies all allegations, and I am surprised he has not set his monkey on her. The monkey does seem strangely real. I wonder if it has bride of Chucky doll powers, and might rampage through the house at night, taking out anyone in its path.
Ed the Lead from the Daily Scum tells me Charley's days are numbered, and that there is new blood baying at the starting gate. This new blood will be in residence at the BB Hostel next door to the main house, and our original housemates will have to pick three of them. God, three more moronic airheads seeking fame. It is all getting depressingly desperate!
Anyway, I will be away at the end of the week. BBBL is turning the big 40! I have been asked what I want for my birthday. A chemical peel perhaps, botox injections, bum cheek implants, none of which I am getting. I will be spending it in the Crop Circles of Wiltshire, wearing a Kaftan, and eating mung beans out of a dock leaf! I do not want to miss Charley’s eviction though, if it finally happens. I will have to fashion a small antenna from coat hangers and send my 7-year-old niece up a pole to hold the antenna, whilst I watch it on a portable TV from my deck chair. The joys of camping!
Madame Du Pravee is meeting us in one of the Crop Circles for a Tibetan singing bowl meditation. Janis Joplin was trying to manifest her Mercedes Benz Kaftan for me, but hasn’t quite mastered the skills for manifestation of solid objects, so I must wear my primark one instead. She did say to Madame Du Pravee to tell me “Happy Birthday, and watch out for urinating near stinging nettles” Thanks Janis!
I will keep you all updated on Thaila Zucchi and her thigh boots soon. BBBL
