NEWSFLASH: Jonty, Kara-Louise and Tracey face the public on Friday with a double eviction
Mr X is back from LA where he was following Primark Posh on her trip to see the “sights” (Beckhams). Isn’t it weird that this seems normal for Chanelle, but if someone not in the public eye was doing this, they’d be up for stalking!!
According to the Daily Scum she was mobbed outside an LA boutique by adoring fans, which then realised it wasn’t in fact Carole Vorderman at all. I wonder why Chanelle is in LA? What does LA hold for her I wonder?
Maybe the same future that all Elvis look-a-likes have in Memphis, a regular slot down the Ole Smokey Bar crooning into a microphone that smells suspiciously of sick to a crowd of three rednecks, a dog and a corpse! (All these old American bars have a corpse in them, they are always stuck at the back next to where they keep the bar snacks)
Mr X says the Americans are Luke warm to Chanelle right now, and they say if she loses 20 stone, has cheekbone implants and starts to carry around a Chihuahua in a handbag, then maybe….just maybe!!
Back to the glitzy world of Elstree and Borehamwood! The gurus have finished enlightenment; all are now fully indoctrinated into the world of shamanism. I feel just honoured and holy to look at them on the TV…were not worthy, were not worthy!
I find BB’s ideas on enlightenment a little strange to say the least. You would have thought maybe they would have sought the advice of a true guru. Mr X did ask this to the producer, and she claimed they did try to seek counsel with a guru, but the lady in question, Vanessa Feltz, was on holiday in Blackpool!
So as we gallop down the last furlong of BB8 with two weeks remaining, who will be left in the final? BB has come in for a lot of criticism of late. BB death throes they call it. Blame the wannabe factor that is the problem. I think a mass cull of all wannabees in the UK should start forthwith. I feel the real problem this year is just the mix of housemates. I mean, next year Glamour models should be banned. Anyone that has been flirting on the edge of celebrity should be banned. I want to see Joe Smith, 35, Plumber from Catford on next years BB, but with a stipulation in all housemate contracts that they can’t be signed by an agent, so Joe Smith can’t appear on DIY SOS with Prick Nolte!!
I mean it s a sad day when BB has to resort to using Freddie and Munkitty Tunkitty as a ratings pull!! They sent the soft toys on holiday, and the stuff toys miraculously managed to write postcards and drink tequila slammers with two Barbie dolls who moonlight as strippers when they can get out of the toy box.
Brian, Liam, Jonty, Kara-Louise, Gerry and Carole all face the public vote this week, and the two housemates with the most votes will face the Gurus. They will decide who is evicted. So that’s Jonty and Kara-Louise then! Mr X tells me there is going to be a weeding out on Wednesday night, so its all a matter of time before Brian wins!
Madame Du Pravee did a special BB channelling last night, and wasn’t quite sure who would come through, and after a rather disappointing start, the spirit of Buddy Holly came raging in. His favourite housemate is Tracey and he is appearing in the otherworldly aptitude show called “Heavens got Talent” and will be singing a song in her honour called ‘Rave on Phat sister’. The emcee is none other than Jim Morrison himself (Yes folks he really did die in the 17 rue Beautreillis bathtub, and isn’t living in Cleethorpes and working at the Cleethorpes MacDonald’s) If only they had bothered to do that Autopsy eh? (Google anon)
According to Buddy Holly the voting system on “Heavens got Talent” is far more honest than down here, its all done telepathically, so there can be no cheating! BB are you listening!
Let’s see who goes on Friday. I predict Kara-Louise or maybe Munkitty Tunkitty
BBBL
1 comment:
BBBL
Welcome back!!!!!!!!!! I was looking for your stuff...and it was under all that other rubbish!! What is going on?
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